Sun | Jun 26, 2022

Are vibrators OK for men?

Published:Tuesday | August 18, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q I have a new American girlfriend, and to my surprise she wants to use a vibrator on me!

Is this normal? Should I agree?

A Vibrators are mostly designed for women, often to help them orgasm. But in some countries, quite a few couples employ male vibrators, especially to help the guy get a good erection. One model, called the 'Penisator,' is specifically designed for use on males.

I think you should just see what your new partner wants to do, and enjoy it.


Life after oophoretomy


Q Good day to you, Doc. I am a sportswoman of 32, and I am facing severe problems with my sex life and my ovaries.

About a year ago, I started to find sex painful. Things were so bad that I split up from my man. Eventually, I went to a gynonecologist and he told me that I had big trouble with my right ovary and possibly with my left one too.He tried giving me some medication, but it did not work.

So now it has been decided that he will have to remove both ovaries. Doctor, I am real scared about this. Friends have told me that if a woman of my young age has her ovaries taken away, the results are bad. My sister, who is a nurse, says that I will get immediate, severe menopause-type symptoms, like hot flashes and sweating attacks.

She says that there can be psychological consequences too. And someone who I train with said: 'That will be the end of your sex life.' I am terrified by all this, Doctor. I have just met a man, and I think I am in love with him. Sex with him is amazing, though a little uncomfortable.

Please help me.

AI hope I can set some of your fears at rest. Surgical removal of the ovaries is pretty common. The operation is called oophorectomy. Gynos do it for a variety of reasons, including, to be frank, cancer.

I am not saying you have cancer of the ovary. But you should ask the gynaecologist what the diagnosis is and why he needs to do the oophorectomy.

However, I am sure he would not be doing it unless it was necessary.

Now when a woman who has already been through menopause does an oophorectomy operation, there aren't usually any bad side effects. But things are different in the case of a fairly young person, such as yourself.

Your sister is quite right in saying that if you have your ovaries taken out now, you will probably get sudden menopause-type symptoms like night sweats and hot flashes.

But, and this is important, you will probably not get these symptoms if your Doc puts you on female hormones. These hormones will replace the ones that your ovaries used to make. They are very effective.

Whether you will be able to continue with your chosen sport, I do not know. But the probability must be that you can go on taking part. And female hormone replacement therapy is not banned by the authorities in any sporting activity.

Finally, let us turn to the question of sex. Whoever told you that your sex life was 'at an end' was talking foolishness.

Certainly, after the operation there will be a period of several weeks in which you should refrain from intercourse. But after that, you should be fine in the bedroom.

However, the lack of ovarian hormones may cause some dryness of the vagina. And that could cause discomfort during intercourse.

Fortunately, the hormone replacement tablets should help to take care of that problem. And if they do not, then the gyno will probably prescribe some female hormone cream. Inserted into the vagina, this cream should soon restore the vaginal walls to their normal moist state.

So my forecast is that after you have taken the operation, you will be able to enjoy a happy and fulfilling sex life with your new man.


Should I tell my fiancÈe I caught Syphilis?


QDoctor, I am a man about to get married. But I am worrying about the fact that 15 years ago, I caught syphilis in Trinidad. And I got it from a pretty girl in a brothel.

Should I tell my bride about this? Or should I just keep quiet? P.S. We have not had sex yet.

A The crucial question here is this. Did you get adequate medical treatment in Trinidad? Also, did you have tests to make sure that you were cured?

To be safe, I think you should go to a doctor or a clinic now, and ask to have tests for syphilis.

If the tests show that you still have that terrible germ, then you would have to have a full course of treatment.

My feeling is that you should be totally honest with your bride-to-be, and tell her what has been going on. And on no account should you have sex with her until it is absolutely certain that you are free of infection. Good luck.

Why can't I reach a climax?


QI am a businesswoman of 28. I have always been able to orgasm when I masturbate. I am now in a relationship with a guy I love and we want to get married. But when we have intercourse I do not climax. Why?

AThis is almost certainly because intercourse dos not put enough pressure on the clitoris.

There are two ways round this:

1. You can try what is called the 'CAT' position. The letters stand for Coitally Adjusted Technique, and the idea is that the man lies higher up the bed than usual. His face should be much nearer to the top of the bed than yours is. And the object of this is to make the base of his penis rub against your clitoris. That is something which does not happen during ordinary intercourse.

Much fuller details of how to get into the position can be found on the Internet. Just tap in the words 'CAT sex position'.

2. A simpler way of defeating the problem is just to get your partner to rub your clitoris with his finger-tips while you are having intercourse. That should bring you to orgasm.

If you prefer, he could use a vibrator on you while having intercourse.


Will Viagra help?


QAfter about half an hour of having sex with my wife, I tend to lose my erection, doctor.

Would Viagra help me?

AProbably a small dose of Viagra, taken an hour before sex, would do the trick. But please check with your doctor before you start using it. Ideally, you should have a full medical examination, to rule out any physical problems.


Is it illegal to have sex with my husband's brother?


Q My husband's brother is trying to persuade me to have sex with him. Is that against the law?

A No, it is not against the law. But it would be foolish, and could cause terrible trouble in the family.