Sat | Sep 24, 2022

My young wife want's more sex positions

Published:Monday | November 16, 2015 | 12:00 AM

Q: A pleasant day to you, doc, could you give me some advice about my young wife and our sex life?

We got married around a decade ago, and sex with her has been great. But in the last year or so, she kept asking me if I would 'try out other positions.' Doc, I cannot be bothered with all that stuff!

To be honest with you, I have always had sex with women on their backs and me on top.That seems like the natural way to me.

However, she wants us to do all sorts of other positions, because she claims she would find them 'more exciting.' At the moment, I just can't see how that could be.

Another problem doc is the fact that I just don't know any other positions. When I was younger, I went to bed with maybe four-five girls. But none of them asked me for 'alternate' positions. So I never learnt any.

What would your advice be?

A: Well, when a man marries a somewhat younger woman, he has to be careful that she doesn't get sexually frustrated. If she does, then there is a danger that she will start looking elsewhere - and could maybe have an affaire with a younger man.

I am not saying that is definitely what your wife will do. But it is clear that she is getting just a little bored of what you are 'offering' her in bed. So it would be a good idea to 'serve up' a little more variety.

As it relates to this question of sexual positions, the fact is that there are many couples who go through life enjoying sex in exactly the same posture that they have always used. However, there are a lot of men and women who really like to change things up from time to time. Clearly, that is what your wife feels.

Also, as a male, you may not realise that 'changing positions' does often give a woman new and different sensations inside the vagina. That is because of the fact that altering the posture makes the male organ strike the vaginal walls at different angles. Some of these positions ensure that the oft-neglected sides of the vagina are stimulated.

So really, I think you should make some effort to grant your wife's wishes. You don't have to learn 50 new positions, or anything like that. But trying something new occasionally would probably pay rich dividends.

Now you say that you don't know any alternate sex postures, and that doesn't matter very much, because you should let your wife guide you into the positions that she fancies! However, it would be a good idea for you to do a little research, so that you have a few plans up your sleeve.

Therefore, you could look at one of the many books which offer amusing notions like a different position for every week of the year. But it may be more convenient for you to just check out a few postures on the Internet.

If you go into Google and type in the words 'sex positions' you will be offered a staggering total of 63 million websites, all of which offer a variety of different ways to have intercourse.

But you don't really need to learn thousands and thousands of new ways. Knowing five or six would be fine. If you tried (say) two-three fresh postures this month that would be a great start.

Incidentally, I noticed that the website of the popular American magazine Cosmopolitan is currently offering just 10 positions which are said to give women the most pleasure. It would be worth your while to have a look at those.

But be guided by your wife's desires, and you will not go wrong.

Q: I have been getting some menopausal symptoms lately. Am I right in thinking that doctors have now decided that Hormone Replacement Therapy is totally safe, and free of side effects?

A: No medical treatment is ever totally without side effects. However, it does now seem that the risks of HRT are as great as we once thought.

And it is a very good treatment for things like hot flashes and night-time sweating attacks. However, before going on HRT women should always discuss the risks with their doctors.

And in general, you should only take it for a year or two, in order to get rid of menopausal symptoms.

On another point, if you have get vaginal symptoms of menopause (like dryness during sex), I believe that instead of going on HRT tablets, it is probably better to choose hormone replacement cream. This cream softens and rejuvenates the walls of the vagina, and helps the woman to secrete a lot more lubricating fluid during sex.

Vaginal cream has revolutionised the sex lives of a lot of couples. The same is true of hormone pessaries - which are little tablets that the woman puts inside her vagina.

Q: I have two girlfriends, and I see one of them on a Monday and Tuesday, and the other on the Thursday and Friday.

Doc, my problem is that I find I am getting a little tired when I am with the Thursday and Friday girl. There are times when I just can't make it.

Would male hormones help me?

A: I very much doubt it. Your history does not suggest a deficiency of male hormone!

I don't know how old you are, but for any man over the age of 35, it is quite a tough 'task' to satisfy two women a week. Admittedly, there are a lot of men who can do that sort of thing, but you are clearly showing signs of sexual exhaustion!

My best advice to you is that you should have a full medical check-up from a doctor, including urine tests. In the unlikely event that he thinks you are suffering from a male hormone deficiency, he will organise a blood test for you.

My other suggestion is that maybe you should seriously consider restricting yourself to one girlfriend instead of two. That would be easier for you to manage, and it would be less risk to your health.

Q: Do you know any herbal remedies that would stop vaginal itching, Doc? I have been having bouts of itching for quite a while. And though I have had treatment, it never really seems to get better.

A: To be honest, I have never found herbal remedies helpful in treating vaginal itching.

What you really need to do is to find out what is causing the itch. Among the very common causes are:

* Yeast infection ('thrush');

* Trichomonas infection ('trick');

* Bacterial vaginosis ('BV');

* Pubic lice ('crabs');

* Dermatitis (a skin disorder);

* Eczema (another common skin disorder);

* Chemical reactions (to ingredients of soaps, bubble-baths and douches).

I feel that what you should do now is to try and see a 'gyno,' and ask her to determine what is the precise cause of your itching. Only then can you be certain of getting the right treatment.

Note: she may also wish to treat your sex partner, if she suspects that he is reinfecting you.