Sun | Feb 5, 2023

Spice it up

Published:Sunday | January 3, 2010 | 12:00 AM

Q We are a married couple, 36 and 33 years old, and our sex life has become a little boring.

We don't want to try swinging or 'playing away from home'.

Do you think that dressing up in various costumes would help us? We are members of an amateur drama society, so it would not be difficult for us to obtain such clothing.

A This idea may seem a bit bizarre to some people, but I think it is a good one.

Unlike other ways of 'spicing up' one's sex life, it does not involve other people, or the risk of catching venereal infection.

As the two of you already seem to have an interest in acting, this kind of role play could be just the thing to make your encounters in the bedroom more fun.

I am told that a common costume fantasy is for the husband to dress up as a rich businessman, and the wife as a sexy secretary. Whatever you choose, I wish you well.

QIs my husband entitled to insist that he comes into the doctor's office with me while I have an examination?

He says its his right to do this. But I have a problem with him coming in, Doctor.

For several weeks, I have had a vaginal discharge. I think it is because there is something lodged inside of me, which I can feel maybe six inches inside my vagina. Unfortunately, I cannot quite hook my finger on to it and get it out.

I think the object is a condom which has accidentally slipped off and became lodged.

To be honest doctor, my husband and I do not use condoms. He employs the withdrawal method.

If it is a condom, it is there because I had a brief relationship with a young man who was doing some work at our house recently. I made him use a condom each time.

That relationship is now over. I know that I am not pregnant because I have seen my monthly period since. A few weeks after the affaire ended, I noticed this white discharge, which is not getting any better. So obviously, I must go and see a doctor, and have a check-up. But if my husband comes with me and sees the doctor remove a condom, he will go crazy!

So what do I do, Doctor? Is my husband entitled to insist?

ANo, he is not. Under the system of ethics which doctors operate, all consultations are private unless the patients says otherwise.

That means private from friends, relatives and spouses. So unless a woman wants her husband to come into the consultation room, he has to stay out.

As it relates to your discharge, it could be caused by a 'foreign body', and in these cases, it usually has an unpleasant smell. The usual cause of such a discharge is a forgotten tampon which could be what you feel.

However, it could be a condom that slipped off during intercourse. Especially if the man is young and inexperienced with handling a condom.

But whatever it is, the doctor should certainly be able to get it out. If it turns out to be a condom, then letting your husband find out could have serious consequences!

But as I said before, your spouse cannot insist on going in with you. So, maybe your best move is to make your appointment with your doctor but do not tell your husband or anyone else. You can have it dealt with discreetly.

Whatever the 'foreign body' turns out to be, I suggest that you also ask the doctor to check for sexually transmitted infections, just in case you contracted something from your young lover.

QI am a 54-year-old male, and recently, I have been having a little urination problem.

I am embarrassed to admit this, but I often 'dribble' a bit, and when I urinate, the 'stream' is not very strong and I sometimes have trouble getting it started. Why?

A All those symptoms suggest prostate problems.

Enlargement of the prostate gland is very common, especially in men over the age of 50. So I urge you to see a doctor as soon as possible for a prostate examination. Good luck!

Q My monthly cycle lasted for only one day last month. Then it came again two weeks later, and lasted two days.

Why is this so doctor?

AThese 'bleeds' may not be your period at all. You may just be losing blood from some gynaecological lesion.

Therefore, it is very urgent that you see a doctor and have an examination done to find out what is going on.

QDoctor, I am furious with my husband. He told me that while he was in Kingston on business recently he received oral sex from a 'professional girl'.

Fortunately, he and I have not had sex since he came back so I don't think I caught anything. What I want to know is could he have picked up anything when he received oral sex? Could it be passed on to me when we resume having sex?

AI am sorry to hear this. A man can contract a sexually transmitted infection (STI) through fellatio (the medical term for the activity of a woman putting a guy's organ in her mouth).

The risk is not great, but there is a risk. Therefore, your husband should have a check-up with a doctor and some tests done.

Men sometimes lie about their sexual adventures, so it is possible that he may have done more than just received oral sex! I suggest you question him closely on the matter.

But why did he cheat with this woman and decide to tell you?

Maybe it would be a good idea for both of you to see a marriage counsellor.