Mon | Jan 30, 2023

DREAM JOB - A potential nightmare

Published:Tuesday | January 19, 2010 | 12:00 AM

Q. I have a big decision to make. I applied for my best friend's dream and have been accepted. She made me aware of the job and I even assisted her to redesign her resume.

We were best friends from high-school days. We sat together in class, had lunch together, did the same subjects and went to the same university. Since then, we have done other professional courses. Then, one day, she told me she was applying for her dream job. She has not found employment for the last three months. For the fun of it, I applied for her dream job, but did not mention it to her. She has more relevant experience for the job, but I have slightly better qualifications. She was not called for the interview, but I was. I went to the interview and was shortlisted. Now, I have been offered the job and given two weeks to decide whether I will accept it.

My best friend still has no idea I applied or been offered the job. I now feel guilty because I already have a job. The 'dream' one has far more status, better salary and compensation package. I would love to accept the job, but I am afraid I will lose my best friend. What should I do?

A. You claim you only applied for your best friend's dream job for the fun of it, but now, you want to accept the job. Perhaps, you should examine your motives for applying. It appears deep down you wanted that job. Sometimes, even best friends can become competitive and jealousy may occur. How else could you explain that you already have a job and you applied for your friend's dream job? Deep down it was a dream of yours. You went to the extent of applying and attending two interviews. You wanted that job for whatever reason.

Your conflict is how to break it to your best friend. Is there a possibility that your best friend could get your current job if you get that dream one? And, would she be interested in your present employment? I think you have made a big 'boo-boo'.

You need to have a talk with your best friend. Tell her you made a wrong move by applying for her dream job and hear how she feels. The only glimmer of hope is that she apparently would not have gotten the job even if you did not apply for the job. Therefore, it is possible that she would be happy since she could not get the job and her best friend did. However, she could feel betrayed. And, she would be right to feel you betrayed her trust and confidence. You really have to apologise. If she is angry with you, you need to understand. You would then have to decide whether you want the dream job or your best friend.

The good thing is that you already have a job, even if you allow this dream job to pass. In the future, it should be a no-no to apply secretively for your best friend's dream job, especially if she is the one who told you about it.

Contact the counsellor at