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Doctor's advice: Not as 'strong' as it used to be

Published:Saturday | January 23, 2010 | 12:00 AM

Q Doc, I am quite concerned by the fact that my erections are not as strong as they used to be. When I was a young guy, around 18 or so, I used to feel they were really powerful. I had no need to fret about them then. But these days, I don't think I have quite the same spring as I used to, and this is making me feel that I may be losing my 'nature'. Don't get me wrong, Doctor. My wife has not complained. In fact, she keeps telling me that she loves me, and that sex with me is even better than it used to be when we were 19 or so. But I am not so sure. I think she might leave me if I lose my strength.

A Well, I am sure that is not going to happen. Let me explain the medical facts.

When they are young, men tend to peak in various aspects of strength. For instance, when they are around 20, they can usually lift heavy weights with relative ease. But by the time they are in their 30s or 40s, they are generally not quite so strong.

Similarly, the muscles that make people run are usually at their most powerful before the age 30. Though many top sprinters still have great muscles when they are in their 30s, scarcely anyone (male or female) has quite the same power in the leg muscles when they hit 40.

Why does this happen?

Well, a major reason is that the blood vessels deteriorate slightly as one gets older. If these little tubes are not quite as open as they used to be, the amount of blood flowing through them will not be quite as great.

In the case of the tubes that supply the male organ, the effect of a slight loss of blood flow is that the erection might not be quite as hard in a middle-age or elderly man.

However, guys quite often imagine they have lost some of their hardness. But it is most uncommon for sex partners to complain that the man is less hard.

May I stress that any deterioration in hardness is very slight and very slow. Now, how can a man keep any loss of firmness to an absolute minimum? By doing these things:

Keeping as fit as possible.

Avoiding getting overweight.

Getting plenty of exercise.

Making sure he does not smoke because tobacco is notorious for harming the blood tubes of the body!

Is there any medication that will stop the penis from losing its hardness? I am a little doubtful whether medications will help. However, I have been to lectures by certain American doctors who claim that drugs like Viagra can maintain the hardness of a guy's erections, even when he is not suffering from any erectile problems.

But in your case, I do not think that you have any reason to fret. Clearly, your wife loves you and is happy with the kind of sex you are providing!

Also, it is quite likely that, as is the case with many guys, you have discovered some new bedroom skills as you have got older, and so have found out the best ways of pleasing her.

Listen to what she is telling you. Quit fretting about whether you are hard enough.

Q Doc, please do not disapprove of me. I am 20 years old and I have two boyfriends. I have no difficulty in achieving simultaneous orgasms with one of them, but with the other guy, I cannot. Why is this so? Is there something wrong with me?

A It is unwise to have two lovers at the same time. You are putting your health at risk.

Simultaneous climax is not easily achieved, especially when you are only 20.

My guess is that the boyfriend who discharges at the same time as you do is perhaps the more skilled of the two lovers.

Or maybe you are just more comfortable and relaxed with him?

Mind you, I am not saying you should choose him as your long-term partner. Anyway, there is clearly nothing wrong with you.

Q Doctor, I am a 19-year-old guy. Last week, I had sex with a 25-year-old woman. Afterwards, I found blood on me. Does this mean I took her virginity?

A Not necessarily. She may just have been at the end of her period. Or you may have cut her accidentally. Also, it is possible that the blood came from a little cut on you.

Q I recently met two really handsome brothers from Black River. To be honest, Doctor, I find both of them very attractive. Would it be illegal to go to bed with one brother first, and then the other?

A No, that would not be illegal. But it would be unwise, especially because of all the family jealousy and fuss you might create.

Q I am a 26-year-old woman and I have recently developed a small lump at the front of my neck. Can I safely ignore this, Doc?

A No way! Lumps in any part of the body should never be ignored. This may perhaps be a tiny cyst in your thyroid gland. However, it must be assessed by a medical doctor soon.

Q I am a young guy, and I really would like to keep myself pure until I get married. Would having no sex harm my health?

ANo. There is no way that staying a virgin can harm one's health.

Q I recently suffered a rupture. Is this caused from sex, Doc?

ANo. Ruptures are quite common. They are caused from a weak spot in the wall of the belly.

Q Doc, a year after my boyfriend left me, I am still depressed. Why?

AYou may well be clinically depressed. Depression is very common in young women. Please see a doc as soon as you can for advice.

QI am 17. My mother says that she had terrible period pain since she was 18 or 20. Does this mean I will have it too?

A No, it does not. In any case, these days it would be a lot easier to treat such pain compared to the time when your mother was young.

Many younger women do get severe menstrual cramps. When this happens, the best thing is always to see a doc for diagnosis and treatment.

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