Talk about protesting

Daviot Kelly

I heard recently that the chief justice of Israel was the victim of a shoe thrower. The unfortunate woman was merely doing her job during a hearing on medical marijuana when, 'whap!', the loafer landed from a man who was in the public gallery.

Unlike George W. Bush, who successfully dodged two shoes in Baghdad, the jurist was hit in the face, causing her to fall, and her glasses were broken. Sadly, she also received bruises. Throwing shoes is a big insult in some parts of the globe, and it seems to be getting more popular.

This is just the latest in some shoe - and other object - throwing incidents. A man also threw a shoe last week at Sudanese President Omar al-Bashir, while he was making a public speech in Khartoum, but that one was off target. And remember late last year, Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi also got smacked in the face, but by a miniature model of the Milan cathedral, after a rally in the city. He broke his nose, two teeth and had a cut lip.

Letting fly

Throwing stuff at people we don't like is not allowed under the law. But in some cases, it should be - like criminals caught in the act and CEOs who admit they swindled funds. I totally advocate letting fly some solid objects for those jokers, because they thoroughly deserve it. I'm not a baseball pitcher but I think my fastball is pretty decent.

I know the more religious and peaceful among us will chastise me sorely for this. 'He who is without sin, let him cast the first stone' they'll surely tell me. The difference is, unlike other folks, I readily accept the stone/boot/rotten tomato being thrown at me. In fact, I have been known to throw stuff at myself (don't ask me how, just accept that I do, and move on). So I would have no worries about getting clobbered. The key is that I try to keep my nose clean in order to avoid getting pulverised.

Venting our frustrations

But Jamaicans don't try to harm the 'big man dem' who they feel have wronged them. If we ever develop that culture and adapt the 'shoesy' way of venting our frustrations (like on politicians perhaps), it would be hell and powder house. Can you imagine some of our more portly-than-sprightly politicians getting peppered?

They might surprise me though, as they do seem to have some agility on the platform when it's campaign time. Of course they are Jamaican, so the natural dancing ability kicks in.

If the trend does catch on, pass mi ol' boogas! Bombs away!

Tell me who you would hit at daviot.kelly@gleanerm.com