My husband needs to be more understanding

Q. I am tired of going home to a husband who is just not understanding. We planned that I would do my degree first, and then he would do his. We have an eight-year-old son who is very well-behaved and not much of a bother. My father and step-mother, who live 10 miles away, are very helpful when we need baby-sitting. But my husband is griping that it's his turn now and I only have 18 months left. What do I do? Money is tight.

A. I think your husband may now be very desirous of starting college. If it is possible that he can register for one course per semester until you have completed your degree, and not affect the family budget, that would be one way for him to start. Whatever decision you make please ensure that your son does not spend more time with his grandparents than with Mommy and Daddy.

Q. My 15-year-old wants to be a chef but some family members are discouraging him saying it is sissy job. How do I nicely tell them to leave him alone.

A. Encourage your son to pursue his dreams. The world of culinary arts is a wide and exciting field. He will have the opportunity to work all over the world and to use his creative skills to help others.

Q. How do I tell my 13-year-old that I have decided to pursue missionary work with my church? She has become so used to a middle-class lifestyle and the missionary salary will not be half of what we are used to. She is my only child, but when I look at what the Lord has done for me, I have decided that I should give back to the Church through the mission field. It is just the two of us. I am a professional.

A. Be honest with your daughter and share with her your reason for changing your prof-ession. You can have your pastor speak with her also. Guide her in understanding the spiritual path you have now chosen and how beneficial this change will be to the both of you as a family unit.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.