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Doctor's advice: Are these really orgasms?

Published:Saturday | March 13, 2010 | 12:00 AM

Q How can a woman be sure she has had an orgasm? I have been in three relationships in my life and in each case, the nature of my orgasm was different.

When I was with my first boyfriend, my climax was intense and I discharged heavily.

However, during my relationship with my second guy, I used to have multiple orgasms, but never one single intense discharge.

With my current boyfriend, my vagina contracts powerfully, but I don't feel the way I did with the two previous guys.

So I am not sure whether I have truly been experiencing orgasms. How can a woman tell if she has orgasmed?

Also, is it possible for a woman to have a dry orgasm?

A Let me get this business of dry orgasm out of the way first. That is a term which doctors apply only to males, not females.

The reason for this is the fact that most women don't ejaculate fluid at the moment of climax. There are a few who do, but not many. So, really, almost all female climaxes could be described as dry, even though there is usually quite a lot of natural lubrication around.

Now, you ask me whether you have really been having orgasms. From your description, I am not in the slightest doubt that you have.

It sounds like you have had different kinds of climaxes with your three lovers, but that is not unusual. Women's orgasms do feel different at different times. The experiences depend on factors such as:

Whether she is relaxed;

Whether the atmosphere is romantic;

What time of the month it is;

Whether there has been adequate foreplay;

What type of stimulation the guy has given her - and whether it has been skilled;

Whether the G-spot has been involved;

The level of vaginal stretching.

Finally, you ask me how a woman can be sure she has had an orgasm. There is no easy answer to this because there is no way that one can measure a climax, or do some scientific test for it.

But in general, very few females are in doubt as to whether they have 'come' or not. Reliable signs of climax include:

Crying out;

A feeling of intense pleasure;

Powerful contraction of most of the body's muscles;

Specific changes in the skin, the breast and the nipple, which are detailed in medical textbooks;

Twitching in the muscles around the vagina and anus;

Curling of the toes.

Q Like the young guy who you mentioned recently, I, too, have homosexual dreams. But they occur every night, and I do not have any heterosexual ones.

I am 19. Do you think that I am gay?

A Well, I can't leap to snap judgements but it does strike me as very likely that you are gay. A lot depends on how you feel during your waking hours, and whether you experience any attraction towards women.

Why not talk things over with a friendly counsellor who can help you discuss your feelings in depth?

Q I am female, and back in December 2009 I had a bladder infection. I took some medication.

Since then, the colour of my urine has changed. Also, it smells bad.

Is something wrong with me?

A It is possible for antibiotics to change the colour of the urine. But this discoloration should not have persisted, now that you have - presumably - finished the course of treatment.

Also, your urine should not be smelling bad. So it sounds to me like you may still have an infection.

The only way to deal with this is to get a sterile container, put a first thing-in-the-morning specimen of urine in it, and take it to a doc for testing. Ideally, the specimen should then be sent to a hospital lab for examination.

Only when the test have been done will it be possible to decide on the best treatment for you. I wish you well.

Q What could be the causes of infertility in a woman aged 25? I have been having unprotected sex with my boyfriend for a while but I have been unable to become pregnant.

He is already a father with another woman. Do you think the problem is with me?

A The fact that he has previously fathered a child does not quite rule out the possibility that some of the difficulty may lie with him.

For instance, it is possible that since he fathered the child, he may have contracted an infection, like gonorrhoea or mumps, which made him infertile.

Also, he may have a low or lowish sperm count, which was enough for him to father that first baby, but which is not quite enough to hit the target with you.

If I were his doc, I would suggest that he undergo a sperm count test. As to possible woman-related causes of infertility at 25, the common ones are blocked tubes, failure to ovulate regularly, and disorders of the cervix (the neck of the womb). Clearly, it is time for you to see your doctor.

Q I have seen a very expensive penis-stretching device advertised on the Internet. Should I buy it?

A I really don't think so. It is unlikely that anything you buy via the Net will give you a longer organ.

If you are convinced that your penis is too short, have a doc check it out. He really needs to see how long it is when it is erect. As I have pointed out before in this column, the simplest way to achieve this is to take a photo of yourself while erect, using your mobile phone.

Most important: Place a ruler alongside your organ before taking the photo, so that the doc can see precisely how long you are.

Q Doctor, I am a university student and I have had a vaginal infection for about two years. I am not sexually active, so it cannot be a sexually transmitted infection.

In fact, I think it's a yeast infection. Do I need to see a doctor to have it checked out?

A If you have never had sex, I agree that this will not be a sexually transmitted infection. But is it an infection at all?

I assure you that many young women mistake their normal vaginal secretions for a sign of infection. Yes, I do think that you should see a doc and have a vaginal examination. She will be able to tell you whether any infection is present.

If you do have a yeast problem, the alternatives are a one-dose oral medication, or vaginal medication, usually in the form of a course of pessaries (vaginal tablets) plus cream.

Email your questions for Doc to You may also read Doctor's Advice in the Sunday Gleaner magazine, Outlook.