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Doctor's advice - I've got no interest in sex

Published:Saturday | March 27, 2010 | 12:00 AM

  • Q.  I am an 18-year-old guy, and I just don't seem to be interested in sex.  Is there something wrong with me, Doc? Don't get me wrong, I am not gay. I have no interest in either females or males. I just want to get on with my life, and I really don't want to be bothered with all that sex stuff. I am very different from all my friends, who cannot understand my attitude.  Also, I have noticed that I have very little body hair and pubic hair. I would say that my genitals are a little on the small side, but I have nothing to compare them with. I am due to go to university later this year, so I would like to get all this sorted out by then. Your help would be appreciated.  Incidentally, I have never masturbated, and I do not have those sex dreams which I understand trouble other guys.

A.  I think it's very probable that you have a rare condition in which puberty simply never arrives. I have only seen one such case, but this condition is described in medical textbooks. Basically, the guy never develops any significant levels of the male hormone testosterone. So he does not grow any body hair or pubic hair, and his genitals remain rather childlike. And he has no interest in sex, with females or with males.

Sounds like you want to find out precisely what the problem is, even though you may be reasonably happy with having no sexual desire.

I think it is important that you ask a doctor to refer you to a gland specialist, who can arrange blood tests, specific to hormone levels, and tell you precisely what is going on in your body.

Once you know exactly what the situation is, it is possible that you might decide to have some hormone treatment. This could give you male secondary sexual characteristics, such as body hair and pubic hair. It might also give you sexual desire. Clearly, you will want to think carefully about whether to go ahead with this treatment. Good luck.

  • Q.  My boyfriend has suggested that I use a vibrator to help me discharge. Could I do myself any harm with those things?

AVibrators are totally harmless, and have helped a vast number of women who have found it difficult to orgasm.

The main reason for this is that they buzz extremely fast, and indeed much faster than a guy's fingers can vibrate. That means that they provide an intense stimulus. If you are happy using such a device, go ahead.

  • Q.  I am a 23-year-old man, and I am really worried by the fact that I have some very tiny whitish-yellow spots at the end of my organ. Could this be a venereal disease or sex infection?

AOf course, I cannot see these little spots on your organ, but they do not sound much like evidence of a sexually transmitted infection.

My best guess is that they are something called Fordyce's spots. These bumps are perfectly normal in many guys, and do not mean that anything is wrong. If you wish, you can do Internet research about Fordyce's spots and compare images posted with your own appearance.

Another possibility is that the bumps are what are called milia. Again, these are harmless little spots which a lot of guys have on the penis. Nevertheless, the only way to get the spots properly diagnosed is to get an experienced doctor to make a careful inspection of your organ, preferably with the aid of a magnifying glass.

  • Q. Is it OK if one's menses are scanty, Doc? I am 20, and I only lose a few drops of blood each month. Also, my periods are around 35 to 50 days apart.

AThis strongly suggests that you have a problem with your hormones. It may be that your ovaries aren't working very well. If so, that could affect future fertility. It is of greatest importance that you consult a good doctor soon. She should examine you internally and conduct some investigations. These will certainly include blood tests for hormone levels, and probably a scan of your ovaries. I wish you well.

  • Q.  I had sex with a girl in Kingston on Monday. Then I had sex with my fiancée in Clarendon on Tuesday. If the first girl had a sexually transmitted infection (STI), which is possible, could I have given the infection to my fiancée, Doc?

A. Yes, that's very possible. There are a number of uncertainties here. For instance, you don't seem to have any proof that the first young lady really does have a sexually transmitted infection. Nevertheless, I think you should now get yourself checked out for STIs. Ask the doctor whether he thinks your fiancée and the other girl should also undergo tests.

  • Q. My elder brother has just been diagnosed with a duodenal ulcer. Does this mean that I am certain to get it too?

A. No. But there is a slight familial tendency in this condition, so you ought to take sensible precautions to try to avoid it.

In particular:

  1. Do not smoke;
  2. Make sure you get regular meals; and
  3. Try to avoid stress.

If you ever start getting pains in the top part of your belly, consult a doctor.

  • Q. My daughter has turned out to be a lesbian. Is this my fault?

A. No, it is nobody's fault. Some women are lesbians, and that is that. We do not really know why it happens, so there is no point in blaming yourself or anyone else for it. If you love your daughter (as I am sure you do), just do your best to help her have a happy life.

  • Q. My menses are two weeks overdue, and I have just done a test which shows that I am pregnant.  My worry is that in the last fortnight or so I have had vigorous sex on several occasions. Will this harm me, or the baby?

A. No. There is no reason to believe that this sexual activity will have had any bad effect on the foetus or on you.

  • Q. I am male, aged 18. One of my friends has told me that if you get gonorrhoea, the best thing to do is to have sex with a virgin as that will cure it.  Surely that cannot be true, can it?

A. No, it isn't. What you have heard is an old and very dangerous myth. If a guy who is infected with gonorrhoea has sex with a virgin, it will NOT cure him. All it will do is to give 'the clap' to the poor virgin.

If you ever think you have caught gonorrhoea, you should go at once to a doctor or clinic which can make an accurate diagnosis, and then put you on the right antibiotic. Do not have sex till you are cured.

Email questions for Doc to You may also read Doctor's Advice in the Sunday Gleaner magazine, Outlook.