That's why I press mute

I love watching sports of all kinds. Ironic, considering I don't have a sporting bone in my body. I think I'm somewhat healthy (I try to exercise) but in terms of playing 50 overs of cricket, 90 minutes of football or, worse, 48 minutes of basketball, I just can't do it.

One thing though, when I'm watching sports, depending on who's playing/competing, I might prefer to do it alone. That's not because I'm an introvert, but because that way I can put the television on mute. You can't do that when you're watching with other people and definitely not if it ain't your television. That would be rude. The reason for the mute button is that most commentators annoy me. Greatly. And that goes double for those who are so biased their comments start edging your teeth before the first commercial break.

I saw a race at the recent IAAF World Junior Championships in Canada. The Canadian commentator was all aglow about his team right through the race. Too bad they finished fifth!! By the way, the United States won the race (almost like a footnote). My father will love this example. Remember when Deon Hemmings hit the home stretch in 1996 and the United States commentator, said "and here comes Kim Batten?" Some might have thought Batten would win the race for sure. Didn't happen! Thing is, a Caribbean commentator made Merlene Ottey's first 200-metre World Championships gold medal (1993) sound like she won by a wider margin. So we can't just blame those up north, we may be guilty too.

Or how about the football commentator who says, "just over the bar" when in truth, the goalkeeper was already asking the ball boy for a replacement since the bar would have had to be about 10 feet higher for it to have been a goal. Nothing irks me more than a radio announcer who says "that's a stunning goal" and when you see it on television later, the guy scored from two yards out. Wow!

Wrong names

I cringe when I hear commen-tators get the names wrong. For example, Gomez (say go-mez) becomes Gomes (as in rhymes with homes). Christ! And how about the morons who go on and on about a player not really being injured, only for the replay to prove that the hit/tackle suffered was actually that bad. Of course, everyone watching at home and in the stands saw that it was severe the first time. Not using the same cameras I suppose!

Still, if you have the right voice and enough charisma, you can be a good announcer. But that doesn't mean I'll be listening to you (pressing mute button now). Later.

Mute me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com