Sex and relationships: Sex with 'golden showers'
Heather Little-White, PhD, Contributor
Different persons are sexually aroused by different things. There are unusual sexual practices that have been gaining popularity as more people become more liberal about sex and are willing to try more risqué things.
Commonly known as golden showers, this is the act of urinating on another person, usually for sexual gratification, or as a way of humiliation (www.urbandictionary.com). The term for people who like to perform golden showers are called urolagnia, urophilia and undinism. Contemporary literature now describes golden showers as a sexual water sport.
Young boys practise shooting golden showers to see who can shoot the longest distance. Golden shower is a sexual fetish which may take the form of urinating in front of someone or on the body or face of a sexual partner. Extremes of the fetish lead people to drink urine or bathe in it. The act of drinking urine is called urophagia. Others find pleasure in urinating in public, watching others urinate, seeing people wet themselves or on their own clothes. Even wetting the bed is something that people with urine fetish enjoy. It is said that there is a certain pleasure to be derived from the warmness and scent of the urine on their skin and clothes.
In more extreme practices, there is a golden bath, where one partner urinates into the colon of the other during anal sex. In sexual dominance and submission games, a golden shower is given as a form of punishment to humiliate the submissive partner and this arouses the person who is urinating. Those who are being urinated on may get turned on by the humiliation caused by the act.
A golden shower is also a sadomasochistic activity where a partner holds on to his/her urine so that he or she desperately needs to urinate and some partners enjoy watching the person whine and grimace while holding back their urine. Some people get turned on by secretly watching strangers, perhaps using hidden cameras or a secret peep hole, urinate.
Urine will not cause any harm if it splashes on to the skin, but may cause harm if it comes in contact with broken skin or an open wound. If the partner urinating has a bacterial infection, those bacteria may be present in the urine, and contact with the urine and mucous membranes should be avoided. Bacteria-causing STIs may also be present in the urine and could be passed if they come into contact with mucous membranes in the eyes, mouth, throat, urethra, vagina or anus.
As with any exchange of body fluids there is a risk of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). A partner may risk getting an STI which can be passed through urine. It is advisable to urinate on the other person below the chest to minimise risks of STIs.
Drinking someone else's urine is also a risky practice. If urine is being ingested, anything that a person has ingested could be present in small amounts in the urine. Urine is high in sodium, especially in concentrated urine, so consuming urine in high quantities could lead to dehydration. (www.chooseasextoy.com) Some people ingest urine for therapy because of its purported healing properties.
What do you need to engage your partner in golden showers? A golden shower is something you should definitely discuss with your sexual partner. The important thing to remember is not to coerce your partner into doing anything that would make him/her uncomfortable. It is essential that partners establish boundaries before engaging in any type of sexual play. It is an activity on which you should both agree and you should prepare an area to undertake this sexual practice to include a bed with waterproof sheets or in the bath or shower.
Wetness and arousal
Urine play is specifically concerned with sexual arousal due to play with urine. Urine play is appealing to some couples because the wetness from urine causes them to be aroused. Others will become aroused from urine play because of the sounds that are made during the process. Golden showers create a 'feel good' factor for some as they pass urine. Other factors of arousal include smell and temperature of the urine.
If you feel uncomfortable with golden showers, you may need to seek counselling so you can understand more about the desire. Although engaging in urine play should not be a reason for concern, there are certain behaviours that may necessitate professional help. You may have to seek professional help from a therapist if you or your partner is engaging in any of the following behaviours:
Fixated on golden showers, obsessed with urine play to the extent that you miss out on your daily activities like work, school and social activities.
If you need to engage in urine play to feel fully sexually satisfied.
If you find yourself being coerced into engaging in urine play when you do not want to.
If you find yourself forcing others to engage in urine play.
If you get angry, annoyed, frustrated, or upset that your partner refuses to try this behaviour or that your partner simply does not want to engage in this behaviour on a regular basis.
Since urine is not culturally valued, those who engage in play with urine may find they become aroused by breaking cultural taboos. Golden showers may be considered abnormal although it is a sexual variation some may enjoy satisfying needs and desires. Sex educators posit that if golden shower play is done in a consensual and non-coercive manner, then it is simply another variation in human desire, regardless of how it fits in with societal taboos or societal expectations.
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