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Doctor's Advice - Orgasmic concern

Published:Saturday | March 24, 2012 | 12:00 AM

  • Orgasmic concern

Q: I am a girl who does not know much about sex, but I have a new boyfriend and he is much more experienced than I. Doctor, last night he gave me the first orgasm of my life using his fingers. I was very surprised! But what is making me fret is this. Afterwards, he told me that earlier in the day, he had masturbated. Now I am wondering if he had any sperm on his fingers when he touched me. If so, could I be pregnant?

A: Spermatozoa are very fragile, so when they are outside the human body, they do not last long. Therefore, it is very unlikely that this young man had any living spermatozoa on his fingers when he touched you.

So it is most improbable that you are pregnant. However, please take great care in future. I imagine that before long, this guy will try to persuade you to have full sex with him. Remember: there is much to be said health-wise for remaining a virgin.

  • No menses at 17

Q. I am a girl of 17, and I don't see my menses yet. Is that OK, Doc?

A. No, it isn't. You may well have some hormone problem, which is preventing your periods from starting. Another possibility is that you may be anaemic (weak-blooded).  So, please see a doctor right away. You need an examination and some blood tests for hormone level, and for anaemia. I wish you well.

  • Misbehaving member

Q. I have an erection issue. I get rigid erections when I am very tired. I work long shifts and get very exhausted. But just before I fall asleep, even though I am so tired, I develop a strong erection. In order to deal with this, my partner will often have sex with me while I am about to fall asleep. Under normal circumstances, I do not have any problems in getting an erection, but it is quite frustrating that when I want to fall asleep, my penis decides to misbehave!

A. I have changed one or two of the details in your email so that you will not be recognised. Please appreciate that in many guys, it is normal for a spontaneous erection to occur when the mind is tired. This happens because the brain is too exhausted to exercise any conscious control over the penis.

That is very similar to the situation which occurs with 'morning erections,' which are so common in younger males. First thing in the morning, the brain has not really woken up yet, so it cannot exercise any control over the male organ. Therefore, any slight friction from sheets, or perhaps from the accidental touch of a sleeping partner, sets off an erection.

In precisely the same way, a guy, who has been working 12 hours or so and then tries to fall asleep, may well find that he has an involuntary stiffness happening. Nothing can be done to prevent that. So I assure you that you are not abnormal.

I am sorry that these erections have been making you concerned, but you have two choices for dealing with them. Ignore them, and go off to sleep; the erection will soon go down. Just like you sometimes do at the moment, have sex to the point of orgasm. The erection will then go away, and you will sleep better.

  • Sex fears

Q. I got a girl pregnant when I was 15. It was a crazy thing to do, and I still regret it. As a result of that episode, I have not had sex since then. I am now 21. Also, I am very fearful of having sex. In the back of my mind I am terrified of starting another pregnancy. I have a very nice girlfriend now, age 23, and she wants to go to bed with me. But how can I overcome my fears, Doc? I love her.

A. It is quite understandable that the experience of causing an unwanted pregnancy has traumatised you. But it is good that you now have a very nice girlfriend, and that you love her. I feel that your first move should be to discuss this entire subject with her.

Tell her what occurred when you were 15. Do not forget to explain what happened to the girl. Did she have an abortion? Or was there a baby? And where is that baby now? You should tell your girlfriend these things.

Next, you must make absolutely certain that when you begin having sex with her, there is no chance at all of getting her pregnant. There are many good methods of contraception, including the Pill and the condom, and around 12 others! If you are in any doubt about what kind of contraception to use, the two of you should see a doctor together and ask him or her to explain the suitable methods.

Finally, if your girlfriend is gentle and kind and understanding, she will help you when the two of you start having sex. She will reassure you if you are nervous, and especially if you lose your erection. Do not fret. All will be well.

  • Diminishing desire

Q. I am a 22-year-old female, and I have a two-year-old child. After having my baby, I started taking the family planning injection. I was on it for about a year. Now I notice that I have lost my sexual feelings. I don't want to have sex as often as I used to. Indeed, I can go without sex for a long period of time without feeling frustrated. Also, I am having a very heavy vaginal discharge, especially during sex. I went to a doctor and he gave me Canesten, but this did not help me. I was never like this before I started on the injection. Thank you.

A. Well, the first thing I must say is that vaginal discharge is not one of the listed side effects of the contraceptive jab. So I don't think that the discharge could be anything to do with the shot. It is much more likely that you have a problem with your cervix, such as an erosion, or that you have an infection. Presumably, you don't have a yeast infection because that should have responded to the medication Canesten.

Therefore, I think you should go to a doctor who can inspect your cervix with a special instrument and tell you if there is anything wrong with it. He or she can also do lab tests to see what infection is present, if any.

Now let us turn to the question of your lack of desire. I do not feel that this is due to the jab. After all, every drop of the injection must have gone from your body a long time ago. There are many possible reasons why you have lost interest in sex, including the fact that you have a two-year-old child to look after. But please talk all this over with the doctor who examines you.

  • Between the sheets exercise

Q. Can sex help a girl lose weight, as a boy has told me?

No. He is talking foolishness! Pay him no mind!

Email questions to Doc at and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.