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Let's talk life - Depressed wife, I need a break

Published:Saturday | March 24, 2012 | 12:00 AM

  • Depressed wife, I need a break

Dear Counsellor,

My wife has been depressed for sometime and I am frustrated. I have to work, help with the children, and do chores around the house. I am fatigued and worn out. I need a break!

- John

Dear John,

Caregivers face a lot of stress and do need a break. Is your wife on medication or getting counselling? Depression is treatable and your wife should take her medication. Many times, patients do not take their medication and so they take a longer time to get better.

How many children do you have? The spouse usually comes under pressure whenever the mate is sick. Do you have relatives who can help you with the chores, or can you employ a helper?

Do you have a washing machine and dryer? There are many kitchen gadgets that you can buy that would help.

Depression usually robs an individual of his or her energy and makes him or her feel fatigued. Sometimes the person lacks initiative, focus, and concentration. Their drive is gone and they become vegetables. They do not attend to their personal needs and sometimes they have to be hospitalised. Depression affects up to 20 per cent of the population and it affects family members, who become angry and resentful. Depressed people have suicidal thoughts or behaviours.

Do you believe in a God who cares and who will help you? The spiritual aspect of life is very important. You may get depressed also, so you need to take care of yourself.

  • In need of information on special care

Dear Counsellor,

I would like to read something about children with special needs.

- Mary

Dear Mary,

Children with special needs have varying issues. They may have intellectual challenges, learning problems, emotional issues, or social issues. As we cater to these children, we need to provide activities for them.

Some children are gifted and are not being challenged in the classroom, so they become disruptive. All children need to be assessed by their teachers as to their development and level of functioning. This information will help the teacher in her lesson plan. There is a range of problems that can affect children.

The secondary schools have a lot of resources. They have principals, teachers, guidance counsellors, chaplains, nurses, coaches, and special-education teachers. Police personnel are also in schools to help with reducing violence. The primary schools need resources to detect problems early and so intervene early.

Children with autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder are the majority of kids with special needs. Children who are physically challenged, those with visual and hearing impairment and language or speech problems are also considered as children with special needs.

Increasingly, the society is aware of the needs of children and is putting measures in place to deal with them.

Child care and development should be in the front line because these children are our future.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to or call 978-8602.