DOCTOR'S ADVICE: Can anal sex get her pregnant?
Q: Doctor, I am a 31-year-old man and I have a an embarrassing question. Last week, on a business trip to New York, I met a beautiful woman and went to bed with her.
She did not want to have vaginal sex because she said that she feared getting pregnant. But, to my surprise, she invited me to have anal intercourse with her. I did it.
But what has me worried is if the sperms could get from the rectum into the vagina? Could she now be pregnant?
A:That was certainly an unusual encounter. I am wondering if the young woman was a 'professional'? If so, you should definitely have some test done to check for sexually transmitted infections, especially as STIs are very common in New York.
The other thing to consider is if this woman really was a female. There are a lot of 'transgender' individuals in large cities around the world. Some of them are very beautiful and convincing.
It seems odd that your temporary partner asked you to penetrate her anus and not her vagina. Are you actually certain that she had a vagina?
However, let us assume that she was indeed a woman. I can reassure you that the chances of getting someone pregnant through anal sex are virtually nil. There is no internal connection between the rectum and the vagina. So sperms which go into the rectum cannot get into the woman's reproductive organs.
Admittedly, there is a very small chance that the sperms could leak out and find their way across the skin into her vagina. But I have never heard of such a case, so forget all about it. But get yourself a good check-up from a doctor.
Q:When I had my fourth child, I got a tear. But the doctor did not stitch me up. Unfortunately, this is now affecting my sex life.
Is it possible for anything to be done about the tear at this time?
A:Sorry to hear about this. As you know, tears and cuts are common during the last minutes of childbirth. Some small ones will heal by themselves, but others need stitching, preferably in the first few hours after.
When there is a substantial tear and the woman has not been stitched, then that will affect her sex life. She is likely to find intercourse painful. And if the cut is very big, that may make her vaginal opening too loose.
It seems like it has been a while since you have had your child and clearly in need of repair. But stitching it up at this stage is going to be too complex for a regular doctor to do.
Therefore, you must see a gynaecologist who will have the skills and facilities to repair the damage that was done.
Until you have seen a gynaecologist, I recommend that you use a lot of lubricant such as K-Y Jelly, Liquid Silk or Pjur Woman. You can get these at any pharmacy or on the Internet.
Q:I am a 28 year-old woman and very distressed. For five years I have been trying very hard to get pregnant, but have been unsuccessful.
I had a test called an HSG, and this showed that my tubes are blocked. So I was treated by a gynaecologist, who inserted a hose into my tubes. Another gynaecologist tried to 'flush out' my tubes. But I am still not pregnant.
Another option is for me to have Invitro-fertilisation (IVF). So is IVF my only chance of getting pregnant? I know it is very expensive and can lead to multiple births.
A:Sorry to hear about all this. A lot of women like you have obstructed tubes, so your eggs cannot easily get down from the ovary to the womb. The HSG (hystero-salpingogram) X-ray has demonstrated this.
Two gynaecologists have tried to fix your tubes, but so far there has been no success. However, there has to be a chance that you could get pregnant, and like all women who are trying to get pregnant, you should do the following:
Calculate your ovulation day.
Have sex on and around that day every month.
Also, have your partner checked to see if his sperm count is OK.
Finally, you ask about IVF. Only about one in every five IVF treatments is successful. But the women for whom it works are overjoyed! If you are sure you can afford it, maybe you should try it.
There is certainly the possibility of multiple births, but top IVF experts have reduced the risk to a minimum. Good luck!
Q:My wife uses the Internet a lot and, in the last few months, she has become very secretive about it. When I walk into the room, she looks kind of guilty, and quickly gets rid of whatever she is looking at.
But the other evening, I caught a glimpse of what she was looking at and I saw the words 'Ashley Madison.'
Does this mean anything to you, doctor? At first I thought it was a film star's name, but it doesn't seem to be. Is it in some way connected with sex?
A:Yes, I am afraid it is. Ashley Madison is a large American firm which now operates all over the world. They are like a dating agency, but what they do is to put people in contact with each other for adulterous meetings. I understand that many of their clients are married women.
Whether your wife has actually 'signed up' with them yet, I cannot say. But if not, then she is clearly thinking of it. This means that your marriage is in danger.
I think you should confront her with the truth, telling her that you know what she has been doing. After that, the best thing would be for both of you to see a marriage counsellor. I hope you can save this relationship.
Q:I have fallen deeply in love with a handsome young colleague of my husband's. So far, we have only had oral sex, but I am desperate to make love with him.
He is 25, and I am 49, though still very attractive. Is there any chance that he might accidentally get me pregnant at my age?
A: Yes! Many women are still fertile at the age of 49. And at his age, he has a vast quantity of very active sperms.
I urge you not to go ahead with this liaison, which will probably bring you trouble. But if you do decide to have intercourse, please use some reliable form of contraception such as the Mini-Pill.
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