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Let's talk Life

Published:Saturday | April 21, 2012 | 12:00 AM

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Anger management

Dear Counsellor,

I have an anger problem and would like some coping tips.

- Michelle

Dear Michelle,

It is a natural part of life for someone to be angry. Rage and destructive behaviour have to be treated. You need to identify the trigger points for your rage. Having identified what causes you to get very angry, you need to ask yourself whether these issues are worth the quarrel.

Can these issues be dealt with in another way? Can they be put off for another time? Is it worth losing your sleep for? Do you have control over the issues? Sometimes you have to be your own therapist. You will need to take deep breaths and calm yourself. Imagine yourself doing something nice like being by the beach. Sing a song to yourself or pray to God for calmness. You will need the power of forgiveness. This will help to calm you down. Sometimes you will have to walk away before creating a scene.

Self-control is necessary as we cannot let people control us and trigger our rage.

Overwhelmed by ADHD

Dear Counsellor,

My son has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) and I am overwhelmed.

- Marie

Dear Marie,

ADHD affects up to five per cent of the children population. Having accepted the diagnosis, there are certain things you need to do. You need to speak with the principal about your son.

The teacher needs to know about your son so he or she can plan for him. Some schools have programmes for hyperactive children. Stay in close communication with your child's teacher. Structure your child's life so that he can help to organise himself.

Children need to be able to control themselves and deal with stress. Provide firm, loving discipline that rewards good behaviour and discourages destructive actions. Stay calm and set a good example. Try to remain patient and in control. Strive for healthy family relationships. It is important for partners to take time to nurture their own relationship. Protect your child from exposure to pollutants and toxins. Be consistent, set limits and have clear expectations. Avoid multi-tasking when talking with your child. Make eye contact when giving instruction.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to or call 978-8602.