Uncomfortable with nephew wearing make-up

Q. MY 14-YEAR-OLD nephew is wearing make-up and I am uncomfortable. He has some brown steaky birth marks like scratches on his left cheek. It never bothered him before, but over the Easter break, he met a young lady who showed him how to cover it up and he has not stopped. I have told him that God made him how he is and that he will be embarrassed one day when his face gets wet and streaks down his neck. He laughs at me and says the girls like him that way. What am I to do?

A. Your nephew now seems to feel that he is better looking with the aid of make-up, and it also seems as if he is getting attention from girls, which at age 14 is quite a fascinating thing. Take him to a dermatologist who may be able to help him with prescriptive medicine to get the desired effect he seeks.

Emotional intelligence in schools

Q. I am learning about emotional intelligence. Do our schools help our children to achieve this?

A. Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand emotions and express one's own emotions in correct ways at all times. When you are emotionally intelligent, you can manage your emotions and other people's emotions correctly. Guidance counsellors in schools provide training through various sessions in our schools for this. It is important that our parents and caregivers teach children how to manage their emotions from birth and ensure that the best is done to help them do this before they start attending school.

Helping with my friend's children

Q. I visited a friend's house last week and during dinner I noticed that she was very impatient with her children, both under 12. The children are very picky, but she would threaten them instead of being patient with them. Is it okay to tell her how I felt about what I saw?

A. What you can do is, whenever you visit, you can help to motivate the children to eat. Your friend may have been very tired and was possibly reacting to her children's behaviour. Find a way to help your friend's children so that they will be motivated to eat and eat well.

Orlean Brown-Earle, PhD, is a child psychologist and family therapist. Dr Brown-Earle works with children with learning and behaviour problems throughout the island and in the Caribbean. Email questions to helpline@gleanerjm.com or send to Ask the Doc, c/o The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston. Responses to concerns are to be considered as general, as cases shared with psychologists privately would be queried more deeply. Pray always!