Wed | Jun 16, 2021

Doctor's Advice: He wants to have sex in the sea

Published:Saturday | May 12, 2012 | 12:00 AM

Q My fiancé has suddenly decided that he wants to have sex with me in the sea, near Negril. I don't mind, but I would like to know if there are any health dangers, Doctor? Also, is it legal?

A Some men are rather prone to getting carried away with the idea of making love in unusual places. Quite often, they want to do it under water - for instance, in a bath, or Jacuzzi, or swimming pool. And I have encountered quite a few couples who tried having intercourse in the sea.

I do not believe that it is illegal, provided that you don't do it in a place where you could be observed by other folks so that you shock or offend them.

As it relates to health, there are no medical dangers attached to having sex under water. I have checked with a number of gynaecologists on that point, and they all confirm it.

However, you will find that the salty water does tend to wash the normal female secretions away, and that can make penetration quite difficult.

Finally, can I just say that although you are engaged to this guy, you don't HAVE to do this if you don't want to. Please don't let yourself be forced into it.

Q I am a guy of 16, but very mature for my age, and I look older. Last week, I visited Kingston and got separated from the rest of my party. While I was on my own, I met a very friendly girl, and she took me into a bar where we had a drink together.

I was amazed when she invited me back to her place, which was just around the corner. When we got there, we immediately went to bed and had sex. This was the loss of my virginity, Doctor.

Before I left, I was very surprised when she asked me for money. I gave her all I had with me. She would have liked more.

Well, Doc, now I am fretting. Could I have picked up a sex infection from this event? And what would the symptoms be?

A Surely, you realise that this young lady was a hooker! Therefore, it is inevitable that in her line of work she is exposed to a lot more germs than other girls are. And she may have given some of them to you.

Common symptoms of sexually transmitted infections in young men are:

A discharge from the penis;

Pain in passing urine;

A painless lump which appears on the penis and then breaks down into a raw place.

But even if you have no symptoms, you may well have picked up chlamydia from this girl. Chlamydia often produces no obvious symptoms at all, yet it can breed in the body, causing all kinds of damage. Therefore, I think it would be wise to see a doctor for a check-up.

Q Last night, I accidentally left a tampon inside me before I had sex with a boy from Port Maria. Will this harm me, Doc?

A Well, I presume you aren't regarding this tampon as some sort of birth control. Unfortunately, tampons don't work very well as contraceptives. Nor are they any good at preventing infection.

Have you now got the tampon out? If not, it is important to do so because it could be a breeding ground for germs. Once it has been removed, there should be no further risk to your health.

QIs there any medicine I could take that will enlarge my male organ but which has no side effects?

A There are NO drugs which will enlarge a guy's penis. Young guys keep believing that there must be something which a doctor could prescribe in order to make them bigger. But there isn't.

If you really think your organ is small, ask a doctor to check it out. From long experience I can tell you that the odds are that he will say that you are normal.

Q I am 19, and I started my menses five years ago. Unfortunately, my breasts have remained pretty flat, like two fried eggs.

Is there any chance they will get a lot bigger?

A I'm afraid that as it is now around five years since you reached puberty, it is unlikely that your breasts will get much bigger now.

If they really are like two fried eggs, then there would be a case for consulting a plastic surgeon and asking him what he could do for you. I wish you well.

Q I am a guy of 18, Doctor, and I am puzzled by the fact that sexually speaking, I am only interested in older women.

Let me explain. When girls of my own age try to flirt with me, I cannot get excited about it. But I am really fascinated by women of 35, 45, or even 50. Indeed, my favourite film stars are all well over 40. I have a picture of a beautiful older actress on the wall by the side of my bed. I am not ashamed to admit that several times a week, I masturbate while looking at her lovely face and breasts.

Could I change the way I am? Are there any pills which would make me more interested in girls of my own age?

A No, I am afraid that there is no medication which will make a guy fancy younger women.

But I don't think you have realised that there any many males like you. Many young men are only aroused by females who are over about 40. That is why there is so much pornography that features women who are in the older age groups. This is often known as 'Granny-porn'.

Why are some guys like this? In the cases that I have seen, it has often turned out that the young man was heavily influenced by his mother's beauty when he was young, so he finds it difficult to regard anyone younger than his mother as sexy.

Such guys do often end up marrying much older ladies, and there is nothing wrong with that. But if you really want to change, I would recommend that you have some sessions with a good psychotherapist, who could perhaps help you to alter your views of younger women.

Q I wanted to have a coil fitted, but a doctor refused to give me one because he said that my menses were already very heavy, and the coil would make them worse. Is that true?

A Yes, it is. The traditional type of intra-uterine device (IUD) does tend to make periods heavier and longer. So coils are not a good bet for anyone who already has bad menses.

However, the newer type of IUD, which is called 'Mirena,' contains a hormone which usually makes the menses lighter and shorter. It is often called the intra-uterine system, or IUS.

So I feel it would be well worth your while to try Mirena. Good luck!

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.