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Doctor's Advice:He broke my heart but I want him back

Published:Saturday | June 9, 2012 | 12:00 AM

Q: My heart is broken because I have discovered that my boyfriend has been unfaithful to me - and with several girls, too! Doctor, I am 17, and six months ago, I fell in love with this wonderful boy. He told me that he loved me too. Before long, we were having sex. I went on the Pill because of him. For a while I was walking on air. I thought that we would get married and have children and that life together would be wonderful. But two weeks ago, one of my friends saw him on a beach in Portland kissing another girl. My friend told me. At first I could not believe it, Doc, and thought she was lying. So the next morning, I discreetly followed him to see where he was going. When he got into town, to my horror, I saw him meet another girl, who I know was not the one he had been kissing on the beach. The two of them were hugging and holding hands. I was so mad with him that I walked up to him and screamed. He looked very embarrassed and just walked away. That evening, I talked things over with my girlfriends. From what they said, it is clear that he has been seeing at least four girls, and probably having sex with most of them. One of them says she is engaged to him! I cannot understand how he can behave like this. Why is he so cruel to me, Doc? Is there something medically wrong with him? And what I would really like to know is this: How can I get him back?

A: I feel that you would be absolutely crazy to take this guy back! He is what they call 'a philanderer' - in other words, a male who loves playing the field and having sex with lots of different females.

You ask whether there is anything medically wrong with him. That is most unlikely. The truth is that there are lots of highly sexed young men who are unable to resist having sex with as many pretty girls as possible.

Unfortunately, some of those girls fall in love with their seducers. And that is what happened to you. You are probably not the only female whose heart he has broken.

This episode will teach you a tough lesson about men. You must now try to move on as soon as possible. Forget about this horny young guy and get on with living your life.

You may find it hard to believe this, but six months from now, you will almost certainly no longer be in love with that guy. The odds are that you will be leading a happy life. And I forecast that sometime in the future, you will find a much nicer man to love.

One final medical point. You are on the Pill. Presumably, you feel that you no longer have need of it. But please do not stop it suddenly in the middle of a pack. You should continue taking it till you reach the end of your current pack. I wish you well.

Doctor, I am a guy of 18, and I think I may have caught 'the clap'. A friend has told me that I could cure it by having sex with a virgin.Is this true?

No, it is just an old myth, and it is foolishness. If you had sex with a virgin, all you would achieve is giving her the infection, too.

The only way to get cured of 'the clap' (gonorrhoea) is to go to a doctor, who will give you the correct antibiotic. Do not delay!

I am female, age 19. Don't think too badly of me, Doctor, but I am highly sexed. As a result, I have fallen into the habit of masturbating with my electric toothbrush. I wish I did not do this. Is it harmful?

Well, it is not your fault that you are highly sexed. And masturbation itself will do you no harm, however, the practice of using an electric toothbrush as a masturbatory device is most unwise.

There have been a number of reports of young women injuring the delicate tissues of their genitals in this way. So please stop now!

If you really feel that you need some mechanical aid to help you to orgasm, then you should buy yourself a purpose-designed vibrator. You can obtain these easily and quite cheaply through the Internet.

But please, no more use of your toothbrush. It is meant for the teeth, not for the clitoris.

I am a male university student, and I have learned quite a lot about human biology. I have recently been studying the testicles in various animals. To be honest, Doctor, it appears to me that mine are too small. They seem very tiny. Is this possible? And what could I do about it? My penis seems to be of normal size.

I get many queries from young guys who think that their penises are too small. Usually, they are wrong.

But it is unusual to receive an enquiry from a young man who thinks that his testicles are undersized. Sometimes, men who believe this turn out to be right.

Naturally, it is difficult for you to know exactly how big your testes should be. Comparisons with the animals which you have been studying are no help to you.

And it is probable that you have never looked at any other guy's testicles close up.

If it is any help to you, I can tell you that the weight of the average human testis is between 0.85 and 1.75 ounces. However, it is almost impossible for a guy to weigh his own 'ball'!

So what I think you should do is to have a doctor check them out for you. If your testicles are really small, then you will need to have a blood test to see if your male hormones are OK. It is possible that the doctor would be able to help you with some hormone treatment.

One final point: If you are getting erections and having orgasms, it is unlikely that there is too much wrong with the testicles.

I am 22 and have never dared to have sex with a man. This is because I feel that my vagina is too small to accommodate a male organ. But now I am beginning to think about getting married and having a family. What would you advise, Doc?

Well, it is most unlikely that your vagina really is too small for sex. I suspect you may have a mild degree of the condition called 'vaginismus', which I have mentioned before in this column. It is a psychological disorder which makes a woman fear that she is too small, even though she isn't.

You best move now would be to consult a sympathetic female doctor. She will help you relax and then gently examine you internally. My bet is that she will be able to reassure you that there is plenty of room in your vagina.

Email questions to Doc at and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.