Dear Doc

Doc, I read your column very regularly, and I am wondering why people write to you after they have had sex to ask if they could have caught an infection. Isn't that stupid?

I feel that you are being very harsh. The fact is that most human beings do not consider the possibility that they might catch sexually transmitted infections (STIs). But everything changes if they have an illicit sexual encounter! Then they suddenly start worrying about whether they could have picked up an STI. Their feelings are often affected by a strong sense of guilt.

Honestly, I think it is part of human nature to worry in that way. So I believe that you should try to show these people a little charity.

Good day, Doc. I have a problem I hope you can help me with. My girlfriend and I have been having a sexual relationship since 2012, and I have taken precautions to avoid pregnancy by using a condom every time we have sex.

However, I have been worrying a lot about pregnancy, even though I have been using protection. So we have stopped having vaginal intercourse.

Instead, we have sexual contact by fingering, and also she gives me oral sex.

But the problem is, recently, she has been seeing little traces of blood in her urine. Also, it burns when she urinates. So I'm worried. Could this be a bladder infection, Doc?

Yes, it could. It's extremely common for women to get bladder infections, also known as cystitis, after sexual activity, whether the activity is full intercourse or just petting.

You don't have to worry because this isn't a very serious condition. But your girlfriend does need medical treatment right away. She needs to go see a doctor, taking with her a small sample of her urine in a sterile container. The doctor's office could give her one of these, or it is possible to obtain a suitable container from a pharmacy.

The doc will have the specimen tested. Almost certainly, she will prescribe an antibiotic, which is specifically designed to work on the urinary passages. That will probably clear everything up.

I note that you have been worrying about using a condom in case you get your girlfriend pregnant. That really should not happen, provided you wear the condom through the act. Also, bear in mind that the condom reduces the chances of infection.

I am a 29-year-old female who is in a happy relationship. However, every time my boyfriend and I have sex, I bleed a little.

I must confess that I do like rough sex and, at times, I get carried away during intercourse. Maybe this is why I bleed. But my partner and I are becoming concerned.

You are quite right to be concerned because repeated bleeding after sex is something that must never be ignored.

The main reason why I say this is the fact that post-coital bleeding in a woman over the age of 25 can sometimes be a result of cancer of the cervix. I do not wish to alarm you by saying that, but please regard it as absolutely urgent that you see a doctor to have an internal examination and a Pap smear.

However, please note that bleeding after sex can also be because of various other not-too-serious conditions, for instance:

A cut caused from your partner's fingernail

An erosion (that is, a raw place) on the cervix;

A cervical polyp (which is a little benign growth);

Inflammation of the cervix;

Infection with the common 'bug' called chlamydia.

In addition, occasionally it could be that the bleeding is really coming from the man.

Anyway, the important thing now is that you should go to a doctor and have yourself checked out. Good luck.

I have been told that I have a slightly enlarged prostate. Could this harm my wife in any way, when I have sex with her?

No. It is impossible for a man's enlarged prostate to harm his partner.

My husband can't perform

Doc, I have followed the instructions of the bible and decided to wait until my wedding night to have sex with my husband.

But
on that night, I realised that he was not functioning effectively in
bed. On our honeymoon, I discovered that he could not have intercourse
with me at all. Initially, I was not worried, as he said it was just
that he was anxious.

But now that we are home, the problem continues. I am deeply worried and disappointed that he cannot maintain an erection.

I
am very sorry to hear about this. You have not said how old your
husband is, but if he is relatively young, then it may well be that his
problem really is anxiety. If so, things should improve as you both
become more accustomed to each other. I would recommend that you give
him intensive hand-stimulation, in an effort to help him achieve and
maintain an erection.

However, no matter what age he is, I feel
that he should consult a doctor for a check-up. The doctor may find some
physical reason for the potency problem, such as:

Diabetes;

Prescription medication;

Excess alcohol;

Use of other drugs, including nicotine;

Neurological (nerve) disorder, though this is unlikely;

Hormone deficiency, though this is only likely if your husband is a certain age.

If
the doctor cannot find a physical cause, then really your husband needs
some form of psychotherapy or counselling, to try to find out why he
cannot have sex with you.

Whether the problem is physical or
psychological, there would be a case for trying erection-inducing
medication, including drugs such as Viagra.

From the tone of your
email, it seems like your marriage may already be in serious trouble as a
result of his erectile dysfunction. So the sooner your husband seeks
medical help, the better.

Dear Doc, I am a female in my early 20s, and from I have known myself, I've always had some form of vaginal infection. It is thick and creamy. Medication does not seem to help. What do you suggest I do?

I am not totally convinced that this really is an infection. Do you realise that it is natural for all women under the age of 50 to produce a certain amount of vaginal secretion each day? Symptoms which suggest an infection are itchiness, soreness, bleeding, and yellow or green discoloration of the secretions.

What you should do is to get a doctor to send a vaginal swab to the lab to find out whether there really are any germs present and what treatment should be given.

Send questions to deardoc@gleanerjm.com