Sun | Nov 28, 2021

He dumped me!

Published:Tuesday | July 1, 2014 | 12:00 AM

I am at medical school and fell in love with a fellow student. We are both bright and ambitious. He was my first boyfriend and I fell hard. He was handsome. We studied together. We ate together. We had an active social life. We had fun together. We saw each other often. It was a very good six months. He is from a well-to-do family. I was hoping that, during the holidays, I would meet his parents and he mine. I was sure it would lead to marriage. But, suddenly he dumped me without a reason. It affected my studies and I failed one subject because he dumped me and I was down and almost out. Sometimes when I was studying, I could not concentrate. My parents have invested heavily in me and I have not told them that I was dumped and that I failed one exam. Why did he dump me? And how do I get over him? And how do I tell my parents?

A: Perhaps you are not as bright as you think you are. Though you might be academically solid, you need some street smartness. You need to take time to know the person before you make a commitment to be in a relationship. Apparently, you fell fast and hard. Your relationship appears to have been a whirlwind one. There is a saying 'love me little, love me long; hasty love will soon depart'. This proverb reminds us to move slowly when in love. You should slow down in your next relationship. A relationship needs time to develop a firm foundation.

Since you were in a wonderful relationship with him it is expected that if he is terminating it he would give a reason. Anyway, it does not mean if you knew the reason it would make the feeling of being dumped any less painful. It could be that he was afraid of commitment or the relationship was going too fast or he has found someone else or he was just using you and taking advantage of your innocence. However, knowing the reason could help you as you enter other relationships so that you do not make the same mistakes, and avoid new ones.

It is obvious that you are young in matters of love. Therefore, have a serious and mature talk with your parents about your love life and seek their advice. And while you are discussing your relationship, please tell them about your failure of a subject. Perhaps you should not blame the dumping for the failure, because you were successful in other subjects. It is more your reaction to being dumped that is the problem and possible cause of failure in that examination.

Please be positive and let it be that his dumping you means he has lost someone great. It is his loss. It is a good thing you did not take him to meet your parents, and he perhaps had no intention to let you meet his. It would have made you feel worse.

Finally, you need to assess yourself and determine where you went wrong. Fortunately, there is time for you to bounce back. All the best in your future relationships.