Mon | Jan 30, 2023

Two women pregnant for me

Published:Tuesday | July 8, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Q: My life is upside down, and I do not know how I got into this mess. My child's mother is pregnant again, and so, too, is another girl. I love my child's mother and our son dearly. We do have fun times together. She is a very good homemaker. The house is clean, she cooks very well and is great at baking. Most women do not like to iron, but she does. My co-workers marvel at how my clothes look good on me. She is an excellent mother and plays and interacts well with my son. She also has an excellent relationship with my co-workers. However, she is from poor circumstances and did not finish high school. I am not even sure how ambitious she is. She is not interested in going back to do her subjects. She seems satisfied with being a mother. She is affectionate and gets along well with my parents and friends.

I met the other girl out of town. She is very educated, intelligent, and ambitious. Her parents are filing for her. This is her first pregnancy. She has great plans for our future. It appears that I would have a better financial life with her, though I do not love her as much as my child's mother. My child's mother does not know about her, but she knows about my child's mother. I need to settle down, but I am not sure who to choose. I did not intend for either of them to get pregnant at this time. Three children on my salary will be very difficult. What should I do?

A: Apparently, you are attracted to this new girl because of the prospects of a better financial life. In addition, the possibility of you migrating is very enticing. Furthermore, where your child's mother is lacking, your girlfriend is strong, that is, in education. However, please remember that the best of plans can fail, and, though the grass appears greener on the other side, it is not necessarily so. Additionally, although your child's mother is not educated, it does not mean she is not intelligent.

Your child's mother does not know about this other woman who is pregnant. She is an innocent victim while this other woman knows about her and went into the relationship with her eyes wide open. She is deceitful and has spread her bed hard and will have to lay on it. You are extra deceitful because you know everything, and you are greedy, wanting to have your cake and eat it.

Your child's mother is taking good care of you and your son and that should count for something. Obviously, your son's mother feels that she has a family unit and a home. It is strange that you are talking about settling down when your son's mother is a full-time housewife. You are living with her as if you were man and wife.

You need to tell your child's mother that another woman is pregnant for you and seek her forgiveness and promise not to do it again. Hopefully, she will give you another chance. You need to explain to the other woman that your son's mother is pregnant again and you are in love with her, and so you will remain with her. You need to tell her sorry, too.

There is a possibility than neither of the women will want you after your talk. However, let us hope for your sake that your son's mother will give you another chance, and you should use the opportunity to help her continue her studies. She might be embarrassed because she would be doing the subjects as an older person. She needs encouragement from you to try studying again. In addition, she might be so tired after all the housework that she has no energy to study. You need to be more helpful around the house.