Sun | Nov 28, 2021

Dear doc:My organ won't stop bleeding

Published:Sunday | August 3, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Q Doc, I went to the Corporate Area for the weekend and ended up having wild sex with a lovely woman I met in a bar.

After I left her place, I discovered that I was bleeding. Upon close inspection, it appeared that the blood was coming from the 'far' side of my organ, just where there is a little thing like a string, running up to the head.

I tried to put a sticking plaster on it, but that would not work, Doc. So I used a large lump of cotton wool instead. But, unfortunately, the bleeding has continued over the last few days. It is quite heavy, and it pains me sometimes. So I am beginning to worry that I will never be able to have sex again.

Tell me the truth, Doctor. Is this some kind of VD?

A No, this is not a sexually-transmitted infection (STI). You have actually suffered an injury which is common during vigorous sex. Incidentally, it is not the young woman's fault.

What you have sustained is a tear of the fraenulum. The fraenulum (also known as 'the fraenum') is the little dark 'string' of tissue which runs from the shaft of the penis to the head of the organ. It is rather vulnerable to injury.

In most cases, a torn fraenulum will heal up within a few days. Yours has not, so I am afraid that you really must go and see a doctor right away. It is possible that he will say that you will need a little stitch to stop the bleeding. Don't worry, that is not too painful!

My guess is that he will only need to put on a special dressing, which will keep everything clean and help the cut to heal. You should be OK in a few weeks. But in the meantime, you should not attempt any kind of sex until the injury has completely healed and is no longer tender.

Q Doc, I don't think I will ever understand what women want! Recently, things have been a little difficult between my wife and me, so I thought I would get her a nice present.

I went on the Internet and ordered her a good-looking vibrator. It didn't cost much, and the website said that 'women go crazy when using it'.

Well Doc, after it arrived, I thought she would be delighted with this surprise. But she got very mad and threw it at me! She said that, if she wanted a vibrator in the future, she would choose her own.

Please tell me, Doc, where did I go wrong?

A Well, the first thing I must say is that, if things haven't been very good between you and your wife, then the two of you should be thinking about getting help from a marriage counsellor. That could save your relationship.

In the last few decades, these little devices have been very helpful to a lot of women. But women's tastes vary and many dislike the shape and size of some. Some prefer to have a much more subtle device. For instance, there is one which just looks like a pretty little bird's egg.

But, in my view, it is crazy for a man to try and guess what type of vibrator his wife or partner would like. Unless it is discussed, he will more than likely buy the wrong one as you did. So, if your wife ever decides that she really would like a vibrator, then please don't go and buy her one. The smart thing would be to show her a website which has photos of the different devices that are available and let her choose which one she really fancies.

Currently, there are over six million websites offering vibrators, so she will find a lot of brands to choose from.

Q I have been having trouble with vaginal dryness and my doctor has prescribed me some hormone cream.

Is this a good idea? And are there any side effects that I ought to watch out for?

A Vaginal hormone creams are very useful for women whose delicate vaginal tissues have become dry or sore as a result of lack of female hormone. The creams contain oestrogen, and that replaces the missing natural hormone. They are mainly used by women over the age of 35.

Hormone creams work really well in restoring the vaginal walls to a good, healthy, and moist state. So they generally make intercourse a lot easier.

Provided that you do not use the cream more often than your doctor tells you to, you are unlikely to notice any side effects at all. However, there is a small risk of your breasts becoming tender.

Also, you should not insert the cream immediately before you have sex with your husband. Doing this would lead to him absorbing a little oestrogen during intercourse. If this happens repeatedly, he can develop small breasts - which he would not like! So take care.

Q My husband wants me to have two rings put through my nipples. Should I agree, Doc? Or could they harm me?

A Well, I am afraid that I am not a fan of the modern fashion for putting 'erotic' jewellery through one's intimate parts.

Nipple piercing with rings can go wrong sometimes. In particular, it can cause infection, heavy bleeding, and bruising. And occasionally, it can lead to something called a 'keloid', which is a big build-up of scar tissue.

Having said that, I must admit that most women who get their nipples pierced will not suffer any serious problems at all. So it is not really a dangerous operation.

Presumably, your husband wants you to do this piercing for his own sexual satisfaction. But what is much more important is whether you want to do it.

Q Doc, I am and I recently got involved in a 'wife swap' in Negril. The main action was in a swimming pool, involving me and my wife, plus another couple.

It all seemed great at the time, but now I find that I keep thinking about the other man's wife. Sometimes I fantasise about divorcing my wife and marrying this woman.

Doc, do you think this is real love?

A No, I feel this is old-fashioned lust - generated by the excitement of the 'foursome' in the swimming pool. It is the sort of thing that often happens after people try 'switching partners'.

My advice to you is to never go near this woman again. And avoid getting entangled in wife-swapping - ever!