Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Gleaner Writer

Dear Counsellor:

My daughter is 15 and focusing a lot on her friends. She likes to go out with her friends, but I want her to focus on her books.

- Carol

Dear Carol:

Teenagers are into fun and games. They like to be with their friends, especially with those of the opposite gender.

Adolescence is the period between 10 and 20 years old. Their development can be chaotic, so they'll need guidance.

You will have to lay down the rules and the consequences of her actions. Discuss the rules with her and allow her to contribute to the consequences of her behaviour. Whenever she breaks the rules, ask her to suggest the consequences of her action and implement THEM.

She will try to push the boundaries, but this is expected. Teenagers feel they know everything and that they are invincible. They are learning to make decisions and solve problems. Help her to set goals at school and to organise her time and study for her examinations.

One good rule is to ban the use of the telephone and computer, and to prohibit partying until chores are done and schoolwork is complete. Work before play.

Frustrated about sex life

Dear Counsellor:

Recently, my husband has been having difficulty getting an erection. It is frustrating to deal with this situation.

- Gloria

Dear Gloria:

Some men develop sexual problems for a variety of reasons. It would be useful if you could go with him to see a urologist.

There are several physical reasons for impotence, for example, diabetes mellitus. Depending on the age of your spouse, he may have blood-vessel problems.

Psychological and physical factors coexist and feed on each other. Inability to have an erection will cause anxiety for the man, worsening the situation. The man will feel he cannot take care of 'business', and will not attempt sexual intercourse.

The partner might feel he has lost interest in her, or that there is another woman in the picture. Sometimes there is temporary impotence, which can be dealt with by taking a break from sexual intercourse. In such situations, the partners can cuddle, kiss and just hold hands. This will take pressure off both partners to perform. The partners can talk about the stressors in their lives and possible solutions to these problems.

Sexual difficulties can occur because of ongoing stressors. Stress management is needed to help partners cope better. Sometimes the man is angry and resentful about an issue, which impairs his sexual interest and desire.

How is the relationship? Are there a lot of arguments between you? Ongoing feuds and fist fights are strong inhibitors of sexual activity.

Sex therapy is necessary in these situations. You may need to assess the influences of other issues on your sex life. Do you have severe financial problems? Some people believe when money worries come through the door, love flies through the window.

Email questions and comments for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com [2] or call her at 978-8602.