Wed | Nov 21, 2018

'There is hope for the institution of marriage'

Published:Wednesday | December 16, 2015 | 12:00 AM

HELLO MI neighbour! How about joining the campaign to help married couples align/realign their behaviours with their marriage vows? They could enjoy a little bit of heaven on earth.

So the marriage officer says, "dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God, and in the presence of this company, to unite X and Y in holy matrimony. Marriage was ordained by God in the Garden of Eden and confirmed in Cana of Galilee by the presence of the Lord Himself, and is declared by the inspired Apostle Paul to be honourable among all ... ."

After prayer and the bride is 'given away' (usually) by her father, the marriage officer continues in his dignified and solemn tone: marriage is a joyous occasion. It is connected in our thoughts with the magic charm of home, and with all that is pleasant and attractive as being one of the most important events of our lives. Its sacredness and unity is like the mystical relation between Christ and His Church and is, therefore, the most significant and binding covenant known in human relations ... wow!

He now charges the groom: it is your duty to be to a considerate, tender, faithful, loving husband; to support, guide and cherish her in prosperity and trouble; to thoughtfully and carefully enlarge the place she holds in your life. Turning to the bride: it is your duty to be to a considerate, tender, faithful, loving wife; to comfort and cherish him in prosperity and trouble; to give to him the unfailing evidences of your affection. Let me charge you both to remember that your future happiness is to be found in mutual consideration, patience, kindness, confidence, and affection.


Now for the vows


marriage officer: do you, X, standing in the presence of God and these witnesses, solemnly pledge your faith to Y? Do you promise to live with her according to God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony; do you promise to love her, comfort her, honour, and keep her, in sickness and in health, and forsaking all others, keep yourself only unto her, and through God's grace to promise to be to her a faithful and devoted husband as long as you both shall live? Groom: "I do". The bride is also asked a set of pertinent questions to which she also responds with "I do".

Despite the foregoing solemn commitments, oftentimes within a few months, conflicts borne by disappointments, selfishness, laziness, immaturity, etc, are allowed to separate husband and wife. But there's hope.

According to research, scientist and family therapist Terri Orbuch, PhD, conflicts are common, and a healthy dose of it is OK. What matters most is how they are dealt with in the context of a marriage, where it is imperative that couples always remain calm. Couples must remember that problem-solving and anger should not mix. Put love into everything and everything will be lovely. Love it!


For a happy marriage


Discuss matters in a non-threatening way.

Be nice and no name-calling.

The calmer you are, the easier it is to handle the matter.

Do not dismiss your partner.

If possible, do to broach topic if partner is hungry or tired. This is a serious breach.

Above all, love your neighbour (partner) as yourself and do something special for him/her every waking day. And please help someone from opportunity list below. Much peace.

Thanks for helping:

1. Sister Nelson, St Catherine, for offering dresser, pots, clothing to a neighbour.

2. Georgia, for offering a refrigerator to a neighbour.

3. Evadney, St Catherine, for offering a mattress to Natalie, St Andrew.

4. Stacey Ann, for offering food items to her neighbour.

Opportunities to help:

Kemesha, St Ann, asking for a television for family.

Jean, St Catherine, elderly asking for food.

Andrea, Clarendon, physically challenged after surgery. Asking for a stove.

Sonia, unemployed asking neighbours for grocery for family.

Neighbour, asking for stove, mattress, dining table.

To help, please call 334-8165, 884-3866, 299-3412 or deposit to acct # 351 044 276 NCB (Bank routing #: JNCBJMKX) or send donations to Hello Neighbour, c/o 53 Half-Way Tree Road, Kingston 10; email