The pain of losing a mom on Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day is usually a much-anticipated, celebratory day for Trinette Lilly and her siblings. However, this year, they were not looking forward to today because it marks the first anniversary of the brutal slaying of their mother, Antonette Bernard.

Thirty-nine-year-old Bernard’s life was snuffed out in a predawn gun attack at a party in York Town, Clarendon.

Lilly, the eldest of Bernard’s three children, recounted the dreaded day she was told of her mother’s demise. “When I first heard the news, I thought my cousin was pranking me. I was laughing and said, ‘Don’t make serious jokes like that’.” Lilly said that a phone call to her sister confirmed her worst fear. “I felt really heartbroken and weak, especially because she didn’t die of natural causes, somebody snatched her life away. It’s a feeling I wouldn’t wish on anybody, not even my worst enemy.”

Lilly, who has had her 10-year-old sister entrusted to her care following their mother’s death, said, “Losing my mom on Mother’s Day is something that I’ll never forget. The day you’re supposed to be celebrating your mom is the day she dies.”

Sharing the sentiment, Bernard’s 21-year-old daughter, Tasheen, said, “Mother’s Day is stressing for me because everybody will be with their mother, and I won’t have mine. If my mother was here, I wouldn’t be stressing like this and going through all these hard times alone.”

Describing her mother as the life of the party, Lilly said, “She was always fun to be around. Memories of my mom are all happy ones. I hardly remember seeing her down or sad; that’s just how she was. She was happy and always smiling, running jokes and teasing us.”

Lilly told Family & Religion that her mother was a community stalwart who was always willing to assist or support her neighbours. “She was always giving a helping hand to others in our community. Whether it be a party or a death in their family, she was just always there from the beginning to the end.

“She was a strong believer in prayer. Every day, she would text me saying, ‘Trin, remember to read your Bible and pray’. She was always motivating us to be better than her and live life with no regrets. Even though it’s a sad day for my siblings and me, it’s still something I look forward to because now, I’m like a mother to my little sister, and I might become a mom in the future. Even though my mom isn’t here physically, I’ll still wish her a happy Mothers’ Day,’’ she said.