Doctor's ADVICE: How risky is petting?

Q We are a young couple, and we love each other very much. We are both virgins. We are trying to avoid having intercourse because we realise that we are too young to have a baby. But we are both pretty highly sexed, doctor.

So most nights we cannot help going in for what they call heavy petting. This usually ends with both of us discharging.

But we have two questions:

1. Could either of us catch a sexually transmitted infection that way?

2. If the sperms get near the vagina, could this lead to pregnancy? Your help would be appreciated, Doc.

A It is real difficult for young couples who are highly sexed, but who are trying to avoid getting themselves into trouble. Many thousands of teenagers have had the same problems that you have.

I applaud your determination not to risk pregnancy. Please try and stay virgin as long as you can! Now, let me answer your two questions.

Firstly, regarding VD: there is no way that either of you could catch a sexually transmitted infection from a monogamous (i.e. one-partner) relationship like this, especially as both of you are virgins. A person who is a virgin cannot have a venereal disease, except in very rare and bizarre circumstances. So you can quit fretting about that.

Secondly, you want to know if heavy petting can lead to pregnancy. Well, it is just about possible that a young woman could get pregnant if her guy's sperms landed on the opening of her vagina, and then found their way inside. But that is unlikely.

Nevertheless, I would give this advice to all young couples who are in the same situation as yourselves: do not let the male's seminal fluid get anywhere near the vulva, which is the area round the opening of the vagina. I wish you two young people all the very best with your relationship. If at some stage in the future you decide to progress to intercourse, then please make sure that you first get yourselves some safe form of contraception.

Q I am 19 and my menses have suddenly stopped, Doc. But I am a virgin, so I know I cannot be pregnant. What could the cause for this be? I cannot talk to my mother about it.

A Why can't you talk to her? Girls should be able to speak to their mothers about menstrual problems. But if your relationship with your mother is bad, and you feel you just cannot communicate with her, perhaps there is some other mature female in your community that you could chat with about such matters, for instance a nurse, teacher or midwife?

Anyway, let me now give you the commonest causes of absent periods in a young woman. Away from pregnancy, they are:

Anaemia (weakness of the blood);

Stress and worry;

Hormone problems.

In addition, some girls lose their periods because they are suffering from anorexia, the so-called slimmer's disease. And a few young women who are heavily involved in sport experience lack of menses because they have been doing really intense physical training.

You need help in order to sort out which of the above is the cause of your lack of periods. So I strongly advise you to go and see a doctor now. She can examine you, and probably do a blood test to determine if you are anaemic.

I have very little doubt that she will be able to clear up this problem for you.

Q I am female, aged 18. I got hit down in a road accident last month. The hospital did some tests on me, and one of them came back from the lab marked 'sterile'. Does this mean I will not be able to have children?

A Don't fret because there is no cause for alarm. When the lab reports on a test as 'sterile', that just means that there are no germs in it. So I am sure you will be able to have children.

Q I am a guy of 20, and I keep a secret diary. In this, I make a note of all the orgasms I have experienced. And it appears that over the last year, I have had just over 150.

I told a friend of mine about this, and he says that I must have injured my health. He states that a guy only has a certain number of orgasms in the body. And he told me that I have already used up most of my quota.

So it seems like I will be infertile, or maybe lose my nature, Doc. Is there anything I can do?

A Your friend is talking foolishness, so pay him no mind. It is quite untrue to say that the male body only has a certain number of orgasms. This is a belief which is held by quite a number of young men, especially those who are of Indian ancestry, but it just isn't true.

According to research done in the United States, your annual total of 150 is only just above average for a guy of your age. So you have not done your health any harm. You will not become infertile. And you will not lose your nature.

Email questions for Doc to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com. You may also read Doctor's Advice every Sunday in Outlook Magazine.