'God' to Cooper: Tap di foolinish!
Published:Tuesday | May 3, 2011 | 12:00 AM
THE EDITOR, Sir:
I had a dream Sunday night that God gave me a message for Carolyn Cooper.
Here goes:
Carolyn, mi Chile!
A hear say dat you did rite a letta inna de Gleaner ah wanda if God speak Patwa, an mi waan fi tell you dat since you can si wid yu own too yeye dat Jamaica so nuf beautiful dat dis ya ah God own Islan, an yu can be sure-sure dat God speak Patwa.
Mi also haffi tell you also dat you is a big-big whuman now, an is time fi you fi stap di fool-fool business wid di Patwa all di time. Is pickney business dat you ah play wid! Fi wi pickni nowadaze no have no time fi fool wid di Patwa: Dem haffi learn proppa Hinglish so dat dem can go ah university and get good jab, an all ah a dat bizzniz.
Mi hear say dat you did go a UWI an you graduate big-big ... but mi haffi wanda a weh you did learn up deh so mek you come out so crazy fi di Patwa. Ah hope seh dat you no did tek up nuttin' dat smell bad up deh fi mek you write all ah dis Patwa foolishniss!
You iz a nice pretty gal, you know! You have nice pretty teet, an you shape good an all ah dat!
Tek care, sweetness!
I am, etc.,
A.G. GUMBS
Illinois, USA