Doctor's ADVICE: Confused! Can lack of sex make him sick?

Q: Doctor, should I give in to my boyfriend and let him have sex with me? We are both 18, and have been seeing each other for two weeks. I am still a virgin. Now, he is saying that he has to have sex with me. He claims that if he does not have sexual intercourse, he will get sick. Is this a medical fact? Also, he says that if I really loved him, I would let him have sex. I am so confused, Doc. I do not know what to do.

A: Do not let yourself be rushed into sex by this guy. He is using two of the commonest tricks, which are employed by young men in order to get girls into bed. Let us look at these two techniques:

1. He is telling you that if you do not give him sex, this will make him ill. That is utter foolishness! No male ever got sick as a result of not having sex. It simply does not happen.

It is true that many guys get an ache in the testicles if they do not discharge, but that is hardly an illness, is it?

So, do not be fooled. Medically speaking, lack of sex just cannot make a male sick.

2. Also, he is claiming that if you 'really loved him', you would let him have intercourse with you. Really, this argument makes no sense.

There is no law which says that if a female loves a male, she must give him sex. There are plenty of young women who love somebody, but who remain virgins.

Furthermore, you have not said to me that you love this guy. You have only been seeing him for two weeks. So it is early days yet.

Whether you continue going out with this guy is up to you. But do not be fooled by his deceitful arguments.

Q: Doctor, I am a young guy and I am very worried about my sex life, and whether I will ever be able to have any children. My concern is caused by the fact that I seem to produce so little sex fluid. I am sure this means that I must be sterile. I have read stories in books where guys produce large quantities of liquid when they orgasm. One book talked about gallons. Yet, when I climax, I only make a tiny amount. It is very little more than a teaspoonful. I feel that I should be producing at least a cupful each time. I suppose this means that there is something wrong with me. I am still a virgin because I dread the idea that a girl might find out how little I produce. What can I do? Would medication help?

A: Like a lot of young people, you have misunderstood the facts about male orgasm.

It seems that you have read some blue or porn stories, which have given you the idea that men should ejaculate cupfuls or even pints of fluid! This is foolishness. After all, where could such large quantities of fluid be stored in the body? There would certainly be no room for all that liquid in a guy's testicles.

The truth is that the male ejaculates in far smaller volume than many people realise. Careful lab experiments in the United States of American have shown that the average guy produces just five millilitre of liquid.

That is only about a teaspoonful in volume. So it sounds like you are doing OK.

You have absolutely no need to fret about whether you can become a babyfather, or whether women will think that you produce too little seminal fluid. These fears are totally groundless.

Q: If I go on the Pill, will it take away my appetite for sex, Doc?

A: It is real unlikely that it will do that. In fact, many women who go on the Pill find that they become more interested in sex, simply because of the fact that they no longer have to worry about getting pregnant.

Q: I am a guy of 22, and while I was on a visit to Miami recently, I met a real beautiful girl. We did not have sex, but she used what she called her personal vibrator on me. Doc, what is making me fret is this. Could the vibrator have given me a sex infection?

A: It is technically possible for the germs of sexually transmitted infections to be carried on vibrators. That is why people are advised to wash them after use.

However, in practice it is pretty rare for infections to be caused from use of a vibrator.

So I doubt if you have anything to fret about. Nevertheless, if you have any symptoms, such as pain in passing urine or a discharge, it would be good idea to get yourself tested for chlamydia.

Q: To settle an argument with my friends, how much blood should a girl lose during her menses, Doctor?

A: Ideally, no more than 50 millilitres. If you find this difficult to imagine, it is the volume of a standard toothpaste tube.

Women who lose much more than this run a serious risk of becoming anaemic.

Q: I have a new boyfriend, and he uses cocaine. Is it true that this drug can cause heart attacks?

A: Yes, it is. Some cocaine users experience chest pains while under the influence of the drug. In a minority of cases, these pains turn out to be due to a heart attack.

Q: My problem is that my boyfriend wants a baby. In the past, I have sometimes bought the morning-after pill. Will the fact that I have used it prevent me from getting pregnant?

A: No, it won't. But are you sure that you want a baby? Sounds like it is your boyfriend's idea rather than yours.

Q: I have been suffering with ovarian cysts. They give me pain during sex. My gynaecologist told me that I can still get pregnant. But is he right?

A: Yes, though it may be more difficult for you than for other women. Good luck.

Q: I am a 22-year-old man, and since I started having sex at 16, I have had major problems with ejaculating too soon. As I am not an open person, I cannot imagine going to see a doctor or psychologist. So what could I buy that will help my problem?

A: As you realise, you have the real common problem called premature ejaculation. I think you are being rather unwise in not wanting to go and see a health professional about this. It would probably do you good to be more open.

If you really want to buy something, you could try getting yourself the famous china brush, which temporarily reduces the sensitivity of the penis.

You can find out all about this product on the Internet. But please remember two things about it:

Some people develop a sensitivity reaction to it, which is like an allergy;

If you do not use a condom, then the product will inevitably be transferred to your partner's vagina, which she may not appreciate.

Send feedback/questions to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more Doctor's Advice in the Outlook tomorrow.