'I am not crippled' - Amputee and former auto repairman seeking a life out of vagrancy

Patrina Pink, Gleaner Writer

Joshua Brown spends his day watching the cars go by on King Street. His most valuable possessions are strapped to his wheelchair. They include an old laptop bag stuffed with letters and documents marking the life he once had. In his lap is a bottle of water and a rag to protect his face from the heat. On this particular day he is lucky; it is raining.

One of dozens who beg on downtown Kingston's Justice Square, Brown's life consists of sitting and waiting on the kindness of others. Unfortunately, there is no benevolence today, the fact that he is an amputee does not grant him any special favours. His condition does not tug at the heartstrings of passers-by anymore than his able-bodied companions.

In 2009 the car Brown was driving was hit and he was sent hurling off a cliff. To the surprise of many he survived, but doctors could not save much of his hands or legs. His ordeal has left a burden of Sisyphean proportions.

"I have to condition my mind a lot. I'm not seeing a psychiatrist or a counselor anymore; they are saying I'm not so stressed ... ,"says Brown.

His demeanour is somewhat cheerful for one who has lost so much, however, a complex brew of emotions lies beyond his gap-toothed smile.

"Sometimes I get very depressed but I don't show it, that won't help."

Father of three

The father of three - aged 19, 14 and six - once supported his children as an auto-body repairman and painter. After leaving Jamaica College with English language and literatures in English subjects at the CXC level, Brown decided that the academic track was not for him. He later pursued on-the-job skills training and says he was considered a top-class tradesman for many years.

As much as 20 hours of his day are now spent on the streets before the journey to his east Kingston home.

"This is where I come to ask for donation to buy food for both me and the children dem," says Brown. The youngsters visit him occasionally but his eldest rarely comes. The 19-year-old boy has to assume the role of primary breadwinner and spends his days trying to find employment. Two of Brown's children live with their mother, while the other lodges with their father's mother.

"This is a very odd situation here; before I was like the chief, but now I'm just sitting one place for hours, sometimes 23 hours for one day. I am more disciplined now more than ever," Brown said.

Wants to teach

Despite the challenges being rife in his life, Brown insists that he can help himself.

"I intend to go and teach, mi still can give tips. Mi still can tell them how it is to be done and coach them ... . I can carry out a proper inspection of auto body repairs and paint jobs."

He says he has been working with one of the island's non-governmental organisations to obtain artificial limbs but several obstacles have surfaced in recent months. He continues to rise above it all and defiantly insists he is not helpless.

"I'm not crippled. I need artificial limbs to enhance mi life. I not fully 43 yet; I can do a lot for myself if I get the limbs dem."

Brown is seeking help to purchase the artificial limbs so he can begin working on his teaching career.