More Domino awards

BY Gordon Robinson

Again, these awards are mainly amusing. No haughty emails, please. Laugh now or forever hold your 'piece'.

The Dunce Award: The Madantz commission wins for adroitly turning a serious enquiry regarding a national injustice into a circus only to hear no evil; see no evil; and find no evil. To the Three See-And-Blind Mice, The Dunce's message is, "If a macca, mek it jook you!"

The Dunce-Move of the Year Award: G2K President Delano Sieveright wins. Sieve-like in name and reasoning, he postulated that many commentators pretend neutrality but favour the PNP. Exposing his contempt for our ability to discern, he demanded these imposters come out of their partiality closets. He didn't notice any sycophantic JLP commentators so failed to similarly caution them. Keep it up, Delano Sievewrong. Without you, what would comedians and cartoonists do?

My Journalism Awards

The Beast Award: The Beast liked my sister from afar but feared trying to make her his 'beast' (1960/'70s male chauvinist slang for 'girlfriend'). This year, Kevin O'Brien Chang wins for his Lambert Brown-like yearning for the JLP. His sycophantic support for Driva rivalled St Aubyn Bartlett proportions.

Up to November 20, despite Driva's full retreat, Chang wrote: "Mr Golding has once more seen dismal failure turn into stunning success. Driven out by JLP 'gangs' into a seemingly fruitless NDM venture, he somehow ended up as JLP head and then prime minister. The same Coke extradition saga that likely made him untenable as prime minister produced Jamaica's largest homicide decline since 1981. And now his resignation in seeming disgrace has given a JLP Government that seemed dead and buried an excellent chance of being re-elected."

He actually likened Driva's manoeuvres to the dribbling skills of Maradona. I swear to God, these aren't things I can make up. His dexterity wasn't limited to being a print apologist. His prosaic defences of JLP transgressions on broadcast media made him the go-to guy for any anchor wanting a JLP spin on any issue.

Kevin, you're entitled to love JLP. But don't die wondering. Make it 'official'. Join up. Replace 'Damville' in Central Manchester.

The Dunce-Move of The Year Award: Simon 'The Jokester' Crosskill wins for his tasteless ridiculing of the defenceless Clifton 'Clif-twang' Brown. The Jokester had no apparent reason other than his victim's speech/language impediment which made him easy pickings. Then, as Clifton squirmed in his seat, fully aware he was the butt of the most crass and unworthy "humour" on public media, a callous Jokester persisted repeatedly inserting and twisting the knife of cruel ragging.

The Dunce Award: Many were called, but Garfield Burford was chosen for his prolix interview style and his awkward, unsuitable TV posture. Garfield, interviews are about the interviewee, not you. Your questions ramble on forever and frequently include your own answers. You're a bright youngster, Garfield. Sit up straight, watch tapes of Larry King, Bryant Gumble, Graham Norton or Robin Day. Memorise Robin Day's seminal advice: "A television interviewer isn't ... a debater, prosecutor, inquisitor, psychiatrist or third-degree expert, but ... a journalist seeking information on behalf of the public."

Finally, three serious awards:

Rising Star Journalist of the Year: Young Columnist Din Duggan ('Yunga Din') scores big time. For a newspaper neophyte, he left the gates like Jackson with F. Geddes aboard (hands up, turfites who recall; no Dwight, not you) with a fresh, readable style and a unique perspective for which he's admirably unapologetic. But, mostly he wins for his ease of communications despite his robotic legal training. Well done, Yunga Din.

Journalist of the Year: Repeat winner, DIONNE JACKSON-MILLER, continues to impress. She's always prepared and in control. Her questions are crisp and relevant. She insists on straight answers. She's still head and shoulders above the rest. Her one-hour interview of Young Andrew was a tour de force that outshone all lame alternatives. I watched it twice.

Personality of the Year: CHRISTOPHER MICHAEL COKE. Who else? The entire Government revolved around him this year. Concern for his 'rights' destroyed a justice minister and a prime minister's careers. Several teams of legal luminaries spent an unconscionable amount of time on him. He dominated local and international media. Even after his incarceration, speculation as to what he might be saying and to who was obsessive. Take a bow, Dudus. You win. You and yu neighbour have changed at least 73 civilian lives forever.

My unscientific election prediction, based on my assumption of a rapidly maturing electorate? JLP 50; PNP 13. No fancy pollster required. Detailed reasons anon.

Peace and love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.

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