DOCTOR'S ADVICE -Multiple orgasms

Q. Hi Doctor, I need some information about multiple orgasms in women. I am 25 and my husband is 29 years old. He has had a lot of experience with women, and he says that 'most of his previous girlfriends' have been capable of multiple climaxes.

But in my case, I only have a single one. Am I abnormal? Sometimes when I have one, I do feel like going on to another. But then the mood passes, particularly if my husband has already orgasm. He tends to fall asleep very quickly after he has climaxed.

He says it doesn't matter to him that I only have one orgasm per night. But often I feel that I ought to try and please him by having more than one. Please help me.

A. I think that you are worrying too much. You are not abnormal.

It appears that at the moment you are sexually satisfied by having just one climax. If you were not satisfied, then you body would be craving more.

It sounds like your husband is fairly happy that you only have one orgasm. The evidence is that as soon as he climaxes, he rolls over and goes to sleep.

The fact is that a generation ago, many doctors believed that the ability to have multiple orgasms was unusual. The famous Dr Kinsey found that only 14 per cent of women could.

But in recent years, experts have taken the view that if they really wanted to, most women could have more than one climax in an evening - under certain optimum conditions, which are:

The woman must feel relaxed and happy;

The atmosphere must be romantic and sexy;

Her partner must be very skilled at stimulating her to further orgasms.

Research has shown that in most cases, the ability to have multiple orgasms are learned. And learning how to do it takes a long time - often years.

That is why there are relatively few young women who can manage this. The ability to achieve it increases with age, and sexologists say that there are many women who first discover how to do it when they are over the age of 45.

So don't worry, when you get to the age when you really want to have multiple orgasms, you will very probably be able to.

Q. When I was working in England, I had my male organ pierced with a metal ring. It was in a 'tattoo parlour', and I only got it done because I had too much to drink. It cost me a week's wages!

The metal ring came out soon afterwards because I had never liked it. Unfortunately, I have been left with a scar on the side of my penis, and this is embarrassing for me when I am having sex.

How could I get rid of this scar? Is there any cream that will make it disappear.

A .Sorry to hear about this. Having a metal ring put through the penis is something of a fashion in England and the United States. Frankly, I feel it is a silly practice, which can cause infection and heavy bleeding.

In your case, it has led to scarring. It seems that you have a 'keloid', which is a thick 'heaping up' of scar-bearing skin.

That is very difficult to get rid of, and no cream will do that. If you are determined to get rid of it, you should see a surgeon, who will advise you about taking an operation.

You could either see a urologist (a urological surgeon) or a plastic surgeon. But I feel that someone who specialises in plastic (cosmetic) surgery would be the best person to try and get rid of this ugly scar for you.

Q. I am 36 and my wife is 52. Recently, she seems to have lost interest in sex.

Is it true that that hormone replacement therapy (HRT) would immediately make her real sexy again?

A. No. HRT is not a sexual 'miracle worker'. But a lot of women who have reached or passed menopause find that it makes them feel a lot better. It also gets rid of symptoms like hot flashes and sweating. As a result, they may well feel more like having sex.

In addition, HRT generally improves the condition of the vaginal tissues, and makes it easier for the woman to produce lubrication whenever she is sexually excited.

HRT does have some unwanted side effects, and your wife should talk these over with a doctor before deciding on this form of treatment.

Q. Doctor, I hope you won't laugh at me but I have been faking orgasm with my wife. She is a very passionate woman, and a little younger than me. As a result, she wants sex all the time - even when I am very tired.

So recently I have been pretending to climax. I fear that soon she will soon realise that I am faking.

A. I suspect that she will. An intelligent woman is bound to realise before long that her partner is not leaving any seminal fluid behind.

So you must talk to your wife. Please explain to her that you love her and find her sexually attractive - but that you can't quite keep up with her!

Try to get her to understand that it is not absolutely essential that the male partner should reach orgasm every single time. I suggest you offer to keep her satisfied by giving her the option of one or two sex variations, such as intensive love play to her clitoris, and perhaps the use of a vibrator.

But whatever you say to her you must be honest with her. Please, no more faking!

Q. Doctor for about a year now I have realised that after urinating and then shaking properly, I often feel a little 'trickling' down my leg.

Why?

A This symptom probably indicates that you have a little prostate gland enlargement.

The odds are that the condition is mild, but you should ask a doctor to check out your prostate.

Q. I am 33, and for the last few months I have been experiencing bleeding between my period. Is this OK, Doctor?

A No, it isn't! I would like all female readers to be aware that persistent intermenstrual bleeding can be very serious, especially for women who are over the age of 30.

So you should see a doctor right away to be checked for cancer of the cervix. Don't delay.

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