Let's talk Life:How can I be a good student?

Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson, Contributor

Dear Counsellor,

I would like some tips on being a successful student.

- Marie

Dear Marie,

Successful students are hard-working and adventurous. They like challenges and are good observers, meticulous, enthusiastic and competitive. Students need to teach themselves things and need to use their initiative. They ask lots of questions and set questions on each subject and test themselves. You need to practise past papers and ask yourself questions that you think the teacher will set.

You need to want to do well and should be self-driven. You need to seek knowledge, be goal-directed and self-motivated. Research skills are very key.

How can I help my depressed husband?

Dear Counsellor,

I think that my husband is depressed. He is drinking a lot of alcohol and is very irritable. He gets angry easily and doesn't want to go to work.

- Marcia

Dear Marcia,

Depression occurs quite often in men, but sometimes they refuse to believe that they are depressed. Most times, the men are in denial and refuse treatment. Sometimes the men feel that they are weak and ineffective and this makes them more irritable.

You need to encourage your husband to see a general practitioner, or a psychiatrist or his pastor. He can also see a psychologist or any mental-health practitioner. He may be reluctant to speak with anyone, but you need to insist that for the good of the family, he should get treatment. In encouraging him, you need to say that 20 per cent of the population has some depressive symptoms at any one time. He needs to know that it is manly to seek help.

Depression can be treated with medication, counselling or environmental manipulation. He needs to examine his job and see how he can deal with the stressors. Some workaholics are depressed and are in denial. We need people who are productive, but healthy. Depression affects the family, because it causes stress on the family members.

Some men engage in escapist behaviour, such as spending a lot of time at work or on sports. He may take alcohol or smoke ganja or take cocaine. He may become controlling, violent or abusive. Some men get involved in risky behaviour such as reckless driving, infidelity or unhealthy sexual relationships. Although women attempt suicide more often than men, men are more likely to complete suicide. Tell your husband that the family loves him and needs him. He is a valuable member of the family and the members want him to get better and be his usual self.

Email questions and feedback for Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.