Doctor's ADVICE: Why do I keep going LIMP?

Q Doc, I am a young guy of 19 who wants to get started on his sex life, but I just can't do it.

The problem is that every time I am in a bedroom or a secluded place with my girlfriend, I start to put on the condom, and then suddenly, everything just goes wrong. I lose my stiffness, and then there is nothing more I can do. My girlfriend is getting pretty fed up with this!

What is going on? Am I allergic to condoms? I have read on the Internet where guys can have an allergy to them. Or is it maybe that the condoms are somehow the wrong type for me or perhaps the wrong size?

This is driving me crazy, Doc, so I am asking you kindly for your advice.

A Your problem is a very common one among young guys, and it also occurs in a few older ones. It has nothing to do with 'allergy'.

Yes, it's true that men (and women) can be allergic to the latex in condoms and sometimes to chemicals used in the manufacture of these devices. But the symptoms of that allergy are soreness, swelling, itching, and an angry appearance of the skin and membranes.

However, allergies do not cause a male to lose his erection. So what is wrong with you?

Well, you have the very widespread condition called 'condom collapse syndrome'. This means that you have a fairly good erection until you try to put the sheath on it. At that moment, while your partner is lying there waiting for you to enter her, the erection goes.

What is the cause of this? It is anxiety. You see, putting on a condom is quite a stressful business, particularly for an inexperienced young man. The stress makes your body release 'anxiety chemicals' into the bloodstream, and these immediately reduce the blood flow into the penis so that it becomes limp.

What often happens next is that the male gets his erection back and then decides that he will have sex without the condom. And the result may be that the girl gets pregnant!

Now, what can you do about this problem? All sorts of treatments have been suggested for condom collapse syndrome, including hypnosis. But doctors who are experts in this field say that the simplest course is just to get the partner to put the condom on the guy. Inevitably, he feels the stimulus of her fingers as she unrolls it on to his organ. And he may well be excited by the sight of her doing this for him. Generally, the result is that he is so stimulated that he maintains a very good erection.

I hope this advice helps you. Please do not give up on the condom because it is important not to risk an unwanted pregnancy.

Will he know?

Q When I was younger, I used to use a vaginal vibrator on myself. Apart from that, I am still a virgin.

I am thinking of getting married next year, but Doc, will my fiancé be able to tell that I have used a vibrator?

A Unless he is a gynaecologist, he will have no idea.

Fact or fiction?

Q Is it true that if a guy has sex twice in the same evening, the second ejaculation will contain no sperm?

A No, that is totally untrue. Alas, this myth has been responsible for quite a few accidental conceptions.

I assure you that no matter how many times a guy has sex in a night, his ejaculate is likely to contain active sperm.

I want bigger testicles

Q I am worried about the lack of size of my testicles, Doc. Would taking vitamins help them to grow?

A No. Vitamins would be useless.

You should go and see a doctor and ask him or her to check out your testicles. If the doctor thinks that they are small, he or she should do some blood tests to find out if you are producing enough male hormones.

If you aren't producing enough, the doctor will probably give you some hormones in tablet form or as injections. Good luck!

Was it safe?

Q I am a female university student, age 20. Last year, at a time when I was very lonely because I was away from home, I let an older woman tempt me into her bed.

It was OK, but I did not really enjoy it very much, Doctor, because I am basically heterosexual. I no longer see that lady, however, what is making me fret is this: Could our lesbian encounter have given me any form of venereal disease?

A Well, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) are not all that common among women who practise lesbian activities, but there are occasional cases of gonorrhoea, and I have certainly seen chlamydia in a young woman who had a girl-girl affaire.

My guess is that you are perfectly OK, but it would be a good idea to go to an experienced doctor and ask him or her to do tests for STIs. You don't have to tell the doctor about your woman-to-woman experience if you don't want to.

Am I ill, Doc?

Q I am a guy of 21, and I am very worried by the fact that the appearance of my sex fluid varies from time to time. Some days it is smooth and some days lumpy. Sometimes it is a mixture of both.

Do you think I have a serious disease, Doc?

A No. What you describe is absolutely normal. The appearance of seminal fluid varies a great deal for reasons that doctors don't entirely understand. You have no need to fret.

Is there a partition in my vagina?

Q I am 21 and have never been able to have full sex with a man. This is because there seems to be some obstruction in my vagina. It doesn't block my menses, but I can't get a tampon in.

It is as if there was a kind of a thin wall down the middle dividing the vagina into two compartments. Is that possible, Doc?

A Yes, it is not uncommon for females to be born with a sort of partition down the middle of the vagina. That might be the case with you.

What I think you should do now is to consult a gynaecologist as soon as possible. He or she will tell you whether you really do have a septum - which is the medical name for a partition.

If you do, then it will probably be possible for the gynaecologist to remove the septum surgically. You would then be able to have sex. And the odds are that you could have babies.

Email questions to Doc at saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com and read more in the Outlook Magazine tomorrow.