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Premature ejaculation - Men reveal why they finish too quickly

Published:Wednesday | August 20, 2014 | 12:00 AM

Premature ejaculation is more common than you think. However, because
it is such an embarrassing topic, most men tend not to speak about it
openly and may even deny it, which makes it difficult for specialists to
properly study the root cause.

In fact, Jamaican men pride
themselves so much on their incredible stamina in the bedroom that very
few would dare to admit that they climax sooner than they planned and
will even try various 'products' to increase their staying power.

However,
one recent study found more than 1,200 men who were willing to open up
on the subject, and share intimate details of why they ejaculate sooner
than they intended during sexual intercourse.

And the reasons given were quite surprising.

In the study, published online in the Journal of Sexual Medicine,
approximately 30 per cent of men said they were dissatisfied with how
long they lasted in bed. Of the more than 1,200 men who participated,
376 of them reported that they ejaculated sooner than they wanted to
during sex.

The researchers then split the men into two groups -
those who met the criteria for premature ejaculation (classified as
ejaculating in less than two minutes) and those who lasted longer, but
were still finishing sooner than they desired.

When the
researchers asked the men why they thought they ejaculated earlier than
expected, most men from both groups said it was either a lack of control
or hypersensitivity. In other words, they were too highly aroused and
lost control.

Only a small percentage of the men cited problems with their partner, anxiety, or health issues.

"Some
women don't understand that no matter how much a man starts out all
macho and in charge, if their ... ahem ... is really good, the man can
actually lose control, and if she is really good in bed and starts doing
that clenching thing, wow, he can just completely lose it. So you
really can't blame us if we ejaculate too quick if what you have is so
very good," noted one man, who agreed to share his take on the matter
with Your Health on condition of anonymity.

"Sometimes us
men really start out wanting to last long, run a real marathon, but the
sensations and feelings and getting caught up in the moment can get so
overwhelming, and worst if it sweet, you just can't hold out any longer,
no matter how hard you try."

He said one of the tricks he uses to
help maintain his stamina is to just stop 'performing' and think about
something completely unrelated, "like football or anything to not think
about it and prevent it from happening too quickly".

Based on the
findings in the study, the researchers are suggesting that premature
ejaculation be redefined, with a more broader definition. They said most
men in the study did not meet the diagnostic criteria for premature
ejaculation, which are:

Always or nearly always ejaculate within one to two minutes of penetration.

Unable to delay ejaculation during intercourse all or nearly all of the time.

Feel distressed and frustrated, and tend to avoid sexual intimacy as a result.

In
other words, even healthy, physically and mentally fit men sometimes
wish they could last longer in bed. They, too, have experienced an
occasional premature ejaculation.

Of note, outside of those
reasons, premature ejaculation can also be caused by erectile
dysfunction, anxiety, stress, relationship problems, nerve damage,
abnormal hormone levels, inflammation and infection of the prostate or
urethra, abnormal reflex activity of the ejaculatory system or certain
thyroid problems.


TIPS TO STAYING LONGER

Here are some tips that can help men perform longer in bed:

Do some Kegels

Kegel exercises can help a man control his erection. The squeezing and releasing of the pelvic muscles that constitute the Kegel exercises are not just great for women. Men who do it have found that it makes sexual intercourse feel much better. And according to research presented at the European Association of Urology in Stockholm, pelvic floor exercises can help treat premature ejaculation.

So, men, learn to contract the perineal muscles - the area between the tailbone and the genitals. The easiest way for a man to find this muscle is to see if he can stop the flow of urine when he goes to the bathroom. To do Kegels, quickly clench and release the PC muscle repeatedly for 10 seconds. Do three sets, with a 10-second break between sets. Contracting the PC muscle when close to orgasm should slow things down.

Switch it up

If you feel the big finish is about to hit when you are not ready for it, withdraw and get creative in bed. Delve into some exciting foreplay, turning your attention to her other erogenous zones. Use your fingers, tongue and whatever you desire to drive her wild without missing a beat until you are back in control and ready to go at it again.

Take a break

If the sensation begins to feel too overwhelming and you feel yourself losing control, slow down, stop or withdraw for a few seconds. Take your mind out of the bedroom and focus on something completely unrelated. Think about your day at the mechanic or that meeting this morning, anything to get your mind off sex. Once you feel you are back in control, start heating up the sheets again.

Let her take control

Lying back and allowing your partner to
run the show for a while is a great way to slow down the pace. It will
allow her to engage in what she likes and give her the chance to
pleasure you, while you just enjoy the moment. Remember, you don't have
to always be in the driver's seat to enjoy the ride.

Start with foreplay

If
you know that no matter what you do, once you begin penetration you are
going to get so overwhelmed you will ejaculate too soon, then make
foreplay a big part of your lovemaking session. Tease her, please her,
drive her wild with your mouth and hands, taking her to the brink and
over, as many times as you want and as she can handle. Leave penetration
for the very last; after she is all sated and have had her fill of an
orgasm or two ... or three. Just make sure even if you explode too
quickly, she can't complain that you didn't satisfy her to the fullest
or that she didn't climax.

The pause-squeeze method

During
sexual intercourse, when you feel you are about to ejaculate, withdraw
and have your partner or yourself squeeze the base of your penis and
maintain the pressure for a few seconds until the urge passes. Wait for a
few seconds then engage in some foreplay before going back to
penetration. Your penis may lose some erection, but once you resume
sexual stimulation, it will regain full erection. Repeat this method as
often as necessary. After a few practice sessions, the feeling of
knowing how to delay ejaculation may become a habit that no longer
requires the pause-squeeze technique.

Use condoms with benzocaine

Try
using climax-control condoms that are specially made to extend sexual
activity and delay a man's orgasm as long as five minutes. Designed to
aid premature ejaculation, these condoms have benzocaine in the tip, a
mild anaesthetic with a slight numbing effect, so it can help to
decrease a man's sexual sensation and bring his sexual response down to a
more manageable level.

The stop-and-start method

Men,
start by masturbating alone, bringing yourself close to an orgasm then
stopping. After relaxing, continue bringing yourself closer and closer
to orgasm then stopping until you can't hold it any longer. Practise
until you have mastered the technique then apply the same principle
during intercourse.

yourhealth@gleanerjm.com