Being ‘authentic’ versus being ‘positive’

When someone asks, “How are you?”, what do people usually say? “I’m good”? “All is well”? For many, it’s automatic. But what if, in that moment, you’re actually not doing well? Some say- “not bad” or “not complaining.” Should you express your present state, or respond with a positive note, even if it doesn’t reflect how you are feeling in that moment?

This small question often puts us in a quiet dilemma – between being authentic and being positive. Some believe in speaking exactly how they feel. Others choose to respond positively, regardless of their current state. Which one is right?

YOU ARE LISTENING TO WHAT YOU SPEAK

Let’s go one step deeper: when people ask, “How are you?”, are they truly interested in knowing, or is it just a polite greeting like “hello”? Often, the question is just a conversation starter. People may not even wait for your answer.

In such cases, whether you speak honestly or positively may not matter to them – but it does matter to you. What you say is not just a message to others; it’s a message to your own self. Your words go deeper than you realise, so be careful because you are always listening.

SPEAK WITH INTENTION, NOT PRETENSION

So how should one respond?

Here’s a helpful thought: your answer isn’t only for the listener – it’s for you as well. Every word you speak reinforces a feeling in your own mind. So, when you say “I’m okay” or “I’m doing great,” you’re not necessarily faking it. You could be setting a direction for the mind to work on it.

The key is in the intention of the words spoken. Don’t lie, but lead yourself forward. If you’re not feeling well, you can acknowledge it to yourself – but choose to say something that brings you upward. Say, “I’m feeling better each day,” or “I am grateful.” Gratitude opens the door for healing and brings in positive energy.

BE AUTHENTICALLY POSITIVE

Being authentically positive means not denying your feelings, but also not getting stuck in them. If you’re unhappy, you don’t need to keep saying “I’m unhappy” just to be truthful. Instead, be authentic by recognising that you want to feel better – and be positive by speaking that intention. Positivity becomes real when your words are backed by purpose. It’s not about pretending. It’s about choosing your next step through your own power of thought and speech.

So next time someone asks how you are, take a breath, and respond not just for their sake, but for your own growth. Let it be a reminder: your words shape your world. Choose them wisely – with honesty, hope, and heart.

Courtesy: Rajyoga Meditation Centre, Kingston (meditation courses and counselling are offered free of charge). Get in touch via email: bkmeditation.jam@gmail.com or WhatsApp: 876-853-7848. Follow them on Instagram: rajyoga_meditation_jamaica.