Devon Dick | Jenny Jenny calls out prostitution
Recently, radio personality Jennifer ‘Jenny Jenny’ Small called out social media sensation Ladasha ‘Mackerel’ Francis as a prostitute ( Star March 25). Mackerel cringed at such a label. Nevertheless, Mackerel boasts about taking away women’s men and collecting money.
Jenny Jenny defines prostitution as ‘having sex with some . . . and this is what you do for a living’. It seems that she is saying commercial sex is prostitution.
But, the man who buys sex is selling himself short. Both are engaged in the sexual intercourse, so why does he think he has to pay for it? Men who buy sex are duped. Sex was never meant to be purchased as a commodity. Sex is meant to be free. It is for husband and wife to freely enjoy each other without reservations and without restrictions, and definitely without expecting material rewards. It is to be engaged in, for better for worse, and to demonstrate passionate love and as a sign that they cherish each other. It is to express self-giving love at the highest level between a husband and wife. It is to cement the oneness between husband and wife and give practical demonstration of that oneness. Sex is also for procreation.
Men who procure sex want sex on the go. They do not want to spend time to develop relationships. They are not into commitment. These men want sex on demand. They want sex now and however they want it. These men usually have low self-esteem because they believe that the only way they can live out their dreams and fantasies is by using money, services and power to get sex. They do not believe that someone would love them as they are, for who they are, and not for what material benefits they have to offer. They are also selfish and self-absorbed and not interested in the sexual desires and needs of the other person.
SEX SHOULDN’T BE A BARGAIN
Simply engaging in a sex act for money is not necessarily prostitution. Having sex in exchange for goods or services is transactional sex. Unfortunately, many couples engage in transactional sex without realising it. Whenever a man offers money, food, promotion, influence or position to a woman in exchange for sex, then that is transactional sex. This might be an irregular occurrence so it would not be classified as prostitution. However, transactional sex demeans the intention of the God-designed sexual intimacy. Sex was never to be bartered for, or begged for, or be used as a bargaining chip. Therefore, if a husband decides not to provide for the family because he is not getting enough sex from his wife, or a wife withholds sexual coitus because she is unhappy with the husband’s behaviour or lack of provision, it demeans the sex act to a transactional activity.
Jenny Jenny has another concern with Mackerel. “I’m very concerned that she is damaging people’s homes . . .” However, the men are contributing to damaging homes. From 1999, in Sweden, it is a crime to buy sex – though not to sell it. Using that principle, the men who pay Mackerel are worse than Mackerel. These men are not victims of the charm of Mackerel. They are active, willing and greedy partners behaving as if the one with money should acquire more sex.
In the man’s world, those who buy sex call themselves hobbyists or punters. They want commercial sex to be seen like a game of chance or that they are just engaging in harmless fun. However, just as how ladies who sell sex as a main source of income are called prostitutes, then men who get most of their sexual activity through commercial sex should be called ‘prostitutor.’
Jenny Jenny needs to call out prostitutes as well as prostitutors.
Rev Devon Dick is pastor of the Boulevard Baptist Church in St Andrew. He is author of ‘The Cross and the Machete’ and ‘Rebellion to Riot’. Send feedback to columns@ gleanerjm.com.