Carolyn Cooper | BroGad better beg Vybz Kartel fi help him

CHAKA-CHAKA SPELLING

Pon November 30, 2019, di prime minister a Jamaica tweet one video from im account, @AndrewHolnessJM. Im write seh, “On the recent #OPMConnect segment of Cliff Hughes Online, @cliffnationwide asked me about the ‘Most Hon. BroGad’ term. Here is the explanation.” Inna di interview, Holness seh: “You know, you can’t ignore the popular culture and, ahm, it’s part of our cultural asset. That’s what is making our tourism, ahm, so popular internationally. People want to come to Jamaica because of that. There are elements of it which we have to properly regulate.

“I was opening a pharmacy. I was walking about in the pharmacy and I saw a group of youngsters in a corner. And I heard them saying, ‘BroGad a come, BroGad a come.’ So I turned to my assistant and I said, ‘What’s, what are they talking about?’ And, obviously, they were talking about, about me. And they came over, they introduced themselves, we took pictures with them and then they explained to me that this is what I was being termed. So I realised that this thing had taken off.”

Cliff never aks di prime minister bout weh ‘BroGad’ come from. Im aks one serious question fi start off di interview: “Why are you taking, taking on that BroGad mantle and putting it into, ah, as a slogan now in caps and all kinds of things, why?” Di Most Hon. BroGad never gi a good answer to dat deh question. Becau dem a call yu BroGad outa road, yu a go tek it up? A true: “you can’t ignore the popular culture.” But yu haffi know how fi “properly regulate” yuself.

TEK BAD TINGS MEK JOKE

Wednesday gone, di health minister Christopher Tufton mek one big announcement seh di Delta virus deh ya. Im nah talk wid nuh power. It look like seh im no learn nutten from Market Me bout how fi sell imself an fi im ministry. Im just dry-dry. An a pure English im a chat. Im couldn’t talk inna fi wi language too? Same Wednesday gone, Howard Mitchell, chairman a di National Health Fund, im tell mi seh im did tell Tufton fi go a prison an reason wid Vybz Kartel fi see if im wuda buss a chune fi encourage people fi tek di vaccine.

Mitchell seh im no know if Kartel wuda dweet. But im done know seh it wuda sell off. Tufton no pay im bad mind. Mi agree wid Howard Mitchell. But me wuda never bright enough fi go call Kartel name. After dem crucify mi becau mi did invite im fi gi lecture a University a di West Indies! Mi did write one column weh come out inna April, “No Vaccine For Protection From Ignorance.” Mi did seh Tufton shoulda aks all like Russhaine ‘Dutty’ Berry an Dahlia Harris fi promote di vaccine. Dem know how fi tek bad tings mek joke. Tufton nuh listen. Im head tough.

It look like seh di Most Hon. BroGad no understand di power a fi wi culture to dat. A ongle fi promote imself. Im shoulda use fi wi culture, fi wi heart language, fi try get di whole a wi fi tek di vaccine. Dat plenty better than a lock up poor people an rich people gone a hotel a enjoy demself. Virus nah run all bout whole week? BroGad better listen Howard Mitchell an go beg Kartel fi help out a situation. Becau tings well bad wid wi. COVID-19 a run wild. Kartel a nuh God bredda. But im talent mighta help fi save wi from drop inna di pit a hell.

PRAPA-PRAPA SPELIN

Pan Novemba 30, 2019, di praim minista a Jamieka twiit wan vidyo fram im akount, @AndrewHolnessJM. Im rait se, “On the recent #OPMConnect segment of Cliff Hughes Online, @cliffnationwide asked me about the ‘Most Hon. BroGad’ term. Here is the explanation.” Ina di intavyuu, Holness se: “You know, you can’t ignore the popular culture and, ahm, it’s part of our cultural asset. That’s what is making our tourism, ahm, so popular internationally. People want to come to Jamaica because of that. There are elements of it which we have to properly regulate.

“I was opening a pharmacy. I was walking about in the pharmacy and I saw a group of youngsters in a corner. And I heard them saying, ‘BroGad a come, BroGad a come.’ So I turned to my assistant and I said, ‘What’s, what are they talking about?’ And, obviously, they were talking about, about me. And they came over, they introduced themselves, we took pictures with them and then they explained to me that this is what I was being termed. So I realised that this thing had taken off.”

Cliff neva aks di praim minista bout we ‘BroGad’ kom fram. Im aks wan siiryos kweschan fi staat aaf di intavyuu: “Why are you taking, taking on that BroGad mantle and putting it into, ah, as a slogan now in caps and all kinds of things, why?” Di Most Hon. BroGad neva gi a gud ansa tu dat de kweschan. Bikaa dem a kaal yu BroGad outa ruod, yu a go tek it op? A chruu: “you can’t ignore the popular culture.” But yu afi nuo ou fi “properly regulate” yuself.

TEK BAD TINGZ MEK JUOK

Wenzde gaan, di elt minista Christopher Tufton mek wan big anounsment se di Delta vairos de ya. Im naa taak wid no powa. It luk laik se im no lorn notn from Market Me bout ou fi sel imself an fi im minischri. Im jos jrai-jrai. An a pyuur Ingglish im a chat. Im kudn taak ina fi wi langgwij tu? Siem Wenzde gaan, Howard Mitchell, chierman a di Nashinal Elt Fond, im tel mi se im did tel Tufton fi go a prizn an riizn wid Vybz Kartel fi si if im wuda bos a chuun fi enkorij piipl fi tek di vaksiin.

Mitchell se im no nuo if Kartel wuda dwiit. Bot im don nuo se it wuda sel aaf. Tufton no pie im bad main. Mi agrii wid Howard Mitchell. Bot mii wuda neva brait enuf fi go kaal Kartel niem. After dem kruusifai mi bikaa mi did invait im fi gi lekcha a Yuunivorsiti a di West Indiiz! Mi did rait wan kalam we kom out ina Iepril, “No Vaccine For Protection From Ignorance.” Mi did se Tufton shuda aks aal laik Russhaine ‘Dutty’ Berry an Dahlia Harris fi promuot di vaksiin. Dem nuo ou fi tek bad tingz mek juok. Tufton no lisn. Im ed tof.

It luk laik se di Most Hon. BroGad no andastan di powa a fi wi kolcha tu dat. A ongl fi promuot imself. Im shuda yuuz fi wi kolcha, fi wi aat langgwij, fi chrai get di uol a wi fi tek di vaksiin. Dat plenti beta dan a lak op puor piipl an rich piipl gaan a otel a enjai demself. An vairos naa ron aal bout uol wiik? BroGad beta lisn Howard Mitchell an go beg Kartel fi elp out a sitiyieshan. Bikaa tingz wel bad wid wi. COVID-19 a ron wail. Kartel a no Gad breda. Bot im talent maita elp fi siev wi fram jrap ina di pit a el.

- Carolyn Cooper, PhD, is a teacher of English language and literature and a specialist on culture and development. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and karokupa@gmail.com.