Michael Abrahams | Living with depression

I have been living with depression for most of my life. It was first diagnosed in my late teens when I realised my mood would sometimes sink very low, to the point where it would affect my daily functioning. Since then, my journey has been an interesting one.

You may not have noticed, but when I speak of the condition, I say that I live with depression, not suffer from it. There is a difference. The saying, “Pain is inevitable, suffering is a choice,” made popular by Japanese writer Haruki Murakami, has become somewhat of a mantra for me. Life is too short to spend much of it suffering if you can avoid it.

I am asthmatic, but I do not suffer from bronchial asthma. I carry an inhaler around with me, and if I begin to experience symptoms I do not hesitate to use it. If that fails to provide relief, I may get nebulised or visit a colleague for assessment and further management. I also try to avoid smoke and do my best to keep myself warm during cold weather, as smoke particles and low temperatures can trigger attacks. So, I avoid suffering from asthma by acknowledging its existence, doing what I can to minimise discomfort associated with it by avoiding certain stimuli, and by managing symptoms early and aggressively.

So it is with depression. One of the most important steps in its management is to recognise it and own it. Being in denial will not make it go away. Rather, denying its existence facilitates worsening of the condition, which has the potential to adversely affect not only your quality of life, but the quality of life of those around you.

MAKE LIFE MISERABLE

Having a persistently low mood can make your life miserable. Not only that, but prolonged, untreated depression is associated with a decreased life expectancy, an increased risk of heart attack, and a host of other negative sequelae (a condition which is the result of a previous disease or injury). The potential changes in eating and sleeping habits can affect your overall health. The inertia that often accompanies depression can allow golden opportunities to pass you by, and cause you to miss deadlines, which can affect your education or income. The social withdrawal and irritability that may occur can damage valuable relationships. The decreased libido and neglect of hygiene can adversely affect intimate relationships. Armed with the knowledge of these potential sequelae of depression, why would I choose to be in denial and not address it?

So I do address it. One of the first things to do if you are diagnosed with depression, or think you may have it, is to seek help, which is what I did from very early on. Seeing a mental health professional (psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist) is essential. I have heard people say, when encouraged to get help, “What are they going to tell me that I do not know?” The answer is, “A lot.” If someone has spent years of their life studying the human mind and how it works, they must know something about your moods and the way you think that you do not. So, one of the most important attitudes to adopt is one of humility. Another is to not allow the stigma of mental illness to deter you. Your mental health is as important as your physical health, so seeing a therapist should raise eyebrows no more than seeing a family physician or a dentist.

Medication may be useful. I take medication, when necessary, to relieve my asthma symptoms when they flare up. Similarly, I take an antidepressant for my depression. Salbutamol for asthma. Fluoxetine for depression. Salbutamol relaxes my airways; Fluoxetine helps to maintain the level of serotonin in my brain, which reduces the likelihood of my mood being depressed. It is as simple as that, really. It is nothing to be ashamed of.

CHANGES IN ATTITUDE

But living with depression is more than just therapy and drugs. It requires changes in attitude and lifestyle. It requires an attitude of being determined not to let the condition control me and a commitment to make lifestyle changes that lower the risk of my mood being low. Getting enough sleep, making time for relaxation, exercising, creating and maintaining boundaries, having an attitude of gratitude, keeping a gratitude journal, performing random acts of kindness, avoiding stressful situations and people as best I can, and practising mindfulness meditation have all been integrated into my daily activities.

So, it turns out I am a happy person with depression. I know. It does sound strange. But I am a genuinely happy person living with a condition that lowers my mood at times. I see depression being similar to wearing a pair of glasses with very dark, dirty, cracked and distorted lenses. Reality is not as it appears to be. The feeling can be painful, but I opt not to suffer from it.

Why am I talking about this? Because I am committed to doing what I can to fight the stigma associated with mental illness. Too many suffer in silence, out of fear of being judged. But the more those of us who are afflicted share our stories in public spaces, the greater the chance of normalising conversations about the issue, ultimately leading to less resistance to seeking help.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, social commentator and human-rights advocate. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or follow him on Twitter @mikeyabrahams.