Basil Jarrett | When social media makes us less social

I SAW a most heartbreaking sight this weekend. And no, I’m not talking about the Denver Nuggets’ 20-point blow-out loss to Golden State. I’m referring to a social media video of an accident somewhere in the country involving a motor vehicle crashing into what looks like a cane field, before bursting into flames. At least three passengers escaped and made their way to the roadside displaying various degrees of burns across their bodies. It seemed though that at least one other person was trapped in the vehicle, which was by now engulfed in flames. An awful sight all round. What was really most heartbreaking and disheartening, however, was the Johnny-on-the-spot reporter/cameraman, who not only captured the entire ordeal on video, but also provided live colour commentary, ostensibly for the visually impaired. The issue wasn’t so much the recording and the viral share, but rather the nonchalance and complete lack of empathy, concern or care for another human being that he displayed, as he effortlessly narrated how hapless these humans before him were.

There wasn’t even the slightest attempt to even appear to want to render assistance to anyone. At one point I think he even stepped over a victim to get the all-important establishing long shot for his production, as if the video itself was more precious than the lives in danger.

This is nothing new. We see it all the time. Carnage on the streets while everyone seems to be vying to see who can capture the latest, bloodiest, most gruesome, most disturbing recording of human suffering. Going viral is the currency of social media life these days and accident porn is its most common denomination. The entire ordeal just summed up how inhumane we have become as a people.

I always shake my head whenever I hear the term ‘social media’, given that the phenomenon has quite, paradoxically, made us less social actually. On one hand, we have become almost hyper-social with our phones glued to our hands and our heads, necks and backs hunched over these device screens. But on the other hand, we have actually become more antisocial, less personal and seemingly more inured and uncaring than ever. COVID, telework, zoom parties and online meetings only made the situation worse.

We could live with this somewhat, as many persons feel that the benefits of living your life on the ‘gram’ for all to see, far outweigh the cons. But does it really?

A friend of mine recently chided me for not being very active on social media. “How can you work in communications, yet not be on social media?” she asked. “It’s like being a butcher, but not eating meat.” My response was that it’s specifically because I work in communications why I’m not on social media. OK, well maybe that’s not exactly true as I am still technically on Facebook and I haven’t yet closed my Hi5 account. But you won’t find me on Instagram, Twitter, Snapchat or TikTok, telling the world how great my life is, what I had for breakfast, or how much of a rabid party animal I am. And it’s not because my life isn’t great or I didn’t have breakfast this morning. It’s just that not only are these platforms a genuine security vulnerability but there’s also the real danger of social comparison orientation that is equally worrying.

SOCIAL COMPARISON ORIENTATION

Social comparison orientation occurs when you start to compare yourself to others on social media, possibly coming away with feelings of jealousy or inadequacy as you swipe through an assembly line of finely curated and carefully selected photos and videos. All of a sudden, everyone is living a better life than you are, has whiter teeth and a nicer body than you do. Pretty soon, you may start to wish you had a different body, whiter teeth, a different job, a different girlfriend, a different life. In other words, everyone has it better than you as you’re missing out on all of the best parties, events and people. I don’t want to be depressed by the highlight reel of anyone’s carefully curated social media life, and I certainly don’t want to depress anyone with pictures of my most awesome weekend. For the record, it’s not that awesome. Watching Liverpool reach the FA cup final on Saturday was probably the high point of my sorry weekend, although somehow, somewhere, some poor bloke is sitting and begrudging me for actually having the free time or the TV or the electricity to sit and watch the match. Those persons are usually Manchester United fans, but I digress. The point is there’s always someone better off and worse off than you. No need to rub it in their faces or yours.

Nowhere would this oversharing and overindulgence in social media have been more evident this last holiday weekend, than at every party held across the island. No matter where you looked, people would either be hunched over their phones checking their social media apps, or busy holding them up to capture some aspect of the event for posterity, and of course, virality. So much so that they probably didn’t realise how much of the moment they were actually missing, and how much valuable interaction with other people they were denying themselves – all because they preferred to take beautiful selfies and play with filter effects.

Now just because I’m not on any of these platforms posting said selfies every day doesn’t give me a free pass. There’s still the ubiquitous WhatsApp to contend with. A wonderful communication tool, no doubt, but it too has taken some of the pleasure out of human interaction, competing with actual real people for your time and attention.

REDISCOVERING THE JOY OF GENUINE HUMAN INTERACTION

Of course it would be crazy to suggest that we abandon social media and go back to the days of party lines and bangers. A more measured suggestion would be to discipline ourselves and train our brains to mentally and physically step away from our phones and to actually try to be and stay in the moment. Even the most intimate of human interaction seems to have also fallen prey to the need to snap a quick video – and we know all too well how and where those videos usually end up. We need to relearn how to be and how to stay in the moment. We need to rediscover the joy of genuine human interaction, the simple pleasure of an actual talk with another actual person, and in the case of that accident over the weekend, the simple human compunction to be your brother’s keeper.

Major Basil Jarrett is a communications strategist and CEO of Artemis Consulting, a communications consulting firm specialising in crisis communications and reputation management. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.