Gordon Robinson | Words have meaning

The pandemic has forced me further into a Hermit’s Hole, where internet connection has become the air I breathe.

For pity’s sake, do NOT ask “which pandemic?” You KNOW the world is still under siege from COVID-19 and its many offspring. You KNOW most ‘developed’ nations have achieved high vaccination rates, so are handling defence best. You KNOW Jamaica muffed the catch, dropped the ball, and threw the game with its pathetic 25 per cent vaccination, so auditions by persistent misuse of ‘post-pandemic’ to star as the fort in a reboot of The Alamo.

As great surgeon Derek Mitchell repeatedly teaches, “Words have meaning!”

So, the same political gimmickry used to claim SOEs “save lives” is now trying to brainwash us into believing high positivity, additional deaths, severe illness and ‘long COVID’ means we live in a ‘post-pandemic’ world. RUBBISH. Doctors save patients from death by medical intervention. Friends save others’ marriages from death by personal interventions/advice. SOEs saved nobody, least of all unfortunate youth whose lives were ruined by being mindlessly swept up and arbitrarily detained in inhumane conditions for months. If we record 1,400 murders one year instead of 1,500 the year before, not one life was saved; 1,400 were lost. ‘Saving’ isn’t a zero-sum game.

Saved; schmaved. Post-pandemic; Schmost-pandemic. Words have meaning.

Where was I? Ah, yes, driven online for most of my already-limited social interaction. So I’ve been playing dominoes online at an annoying website. For example, it’s programmed for a winners pose’ game, but reverts to ‘holder-of-double-six pose’ after a blocked game. Duh? Players’ incompetence is stressful. Examples include posing a double-sided domino without holding any more of either side. Or holding the double of one side (even in a double-six-pose hand). Or BOTH!

Sigh.

But the language irritates me most. For example, the website uses “block” to mean “pass”. Can you imagine a Jamaican domino player saying to one opponent “You block offa six”? Nah.

Words have meaning.

But Jamaican media is worse. Here are prime examples of teeth-grinding violence to vernacular, language and grammar audiences must endure.

July 23, 2022, young sportscaster Jordan Forte: “The latest updates I have gotten….” Jordan, I’d forgive you for using ‘got’ because legendary educator Margaret Sasso didn’t have the opportunity to erase that word from your personal dictionary. But ‘gotten’? Jordan, words have meaning.

August 23, 2022, promising young reporter Jamaila Maitland from JTA Conference: “We were asked to politely leave the room.” I doubt that. What probably happened was you were “politely asked” to leave the room.

Jamaila, grammar, like words, has meaning.

My top two 2022 infractions (in David Letterman order) are:

2. During a nice puff piece (promoted as a “documentary’” on Portia Simpson-Miller’s political career, narrator and winner of last year’s Domino award for Rising Star Journalist, Giovanni Dennis, repeatedly referred to Portia as Jamaica’s “first woman Prime Minister”. Seriously, Giovanni? I also blame everyone in post-production for not cleaning up that linguistic abomination. ‘Woman’ is a noun, Giovanni. ‘Female’ is the adjective. The circle of embarrassment for all concerned was completed when a male former constituent, appearing often in the show, got it right.

The Number One Offence against language is:

Recently, popular broadcaster François St Juste passed away. Immediately, loving tributes came from everywhere.

Traditional media flubbed the reportage. The Gleaner’s headline (online; August 29) read ‘Veteran broadcaster François St Juste has died’. The Observer’s imagination was equally lacking.

PNP also fumbled the ball: “PNP says it is saddened by news of the death of veteran broadcaster & radio personality François St Juste.”

Andrew Holness’ Twitter Manager got it right. Holness’ account tweeted: “Many Jamaicans, including myself, were deeply saddened this morning following news of the passing of the much loved and admired radio and media personality, François St Juste. He was always professional and had a passion for what he did, which made it much more than a job for him. His unmistakable voice & morning energy on ‘Sunny Side Up,’ a show he co-hosted, lifted many spirits. I express heartfelt condolences to his family and loved ones as they grieve.”

PM, thanks for substituting ‘heartfelt’ for the hackneyed, redundant ‘sincere’ before ‘condolences’.

If the only word you can find to describe a consummate professional who excelled in many areas is ‘veteran’, you have a vocabulary deficit. Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘veteran’ as “a person who has a lot of experience in a particular area or activity”. This can’t describe ANY multifaceted exponent of excellence.

Words have meaning.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Email feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com.