Gordon Robinson | Borderline illiterate?

In our favourite Fantasyland, Apocrypha, Minister of Centrally Controlled Local Government, Messman Mackanzeese, was impaled on the horns of a political dilemma.

As a political organizer for his party, governing Just Lazy People (JLP), his objective was success in the upcoming Election. But his strategy of creating a new Parish in order to guarantee one safe seat by reallocating and merging Opposition strongholds was encountering snags.

Although his plan received full legislative support via Government’s overwhelming majority in Apocryphan Parliament, the Opposition took the matter to court and, worst of all, the Apocrypha’s Electoral Authority (EA) wasn’t co-operating with the enthusiasm Messman expected. So, with Apocrypha’s election date fixed by its Constitution to be in two months time, he took his head-scratching problem to Oma.

It’s been a while so I’ll ignore The Old Ball and Chain’s complaint that my repeated reminders about characters are boring. Returning readers remember Oma D’unn a retired politician and Finance Minister in a previous government of current Opposition Party Promises Not Performance (PNP). In Apocrypha, where all politicians are friends, he was famous for solving political problems by parable. He began advising his friend and JLP successor R.U. Shaw (I’ll explain that name again another time) but became so popular that he created a political consultancy firm named Oma Unsacked.

So Messman consulted Oma who advised him to buy a pencil. Messman was flummoxed so Oma told him the story of the English lecturer:

“An Englishman, lecturing on his travels, was speaking disparagingly about the Scots and French in Canada and how they intermarried with the Indians. ‘You’ll find’ he said ‘quite a number of Scottish and French half-breeds but you won’t find any English half-breeds.’

A Scot in the audience shouted, ‘The Indians have to draw the line somewhere!’”

Messman still looked blank so Oma explained that career public servants don’t react well to bullying tactics especially from politicians clothed with temporary authority. Accordingly, elected politicians must learn how to draw and respect governance boundaries. He told Messman passing a law purporting to create a new Parish against EA’s written advice was sure to offend. So, if Government is forced to return to EA for assistance, instead of respecting its role from the outset, EA wouldn’t be gratuitously helpful.

Oma told Messman to use the pencil to demarcate boundary lines between Government’s and EA’s powers, roles and functions then train his mind to stay within those boundaries.

Jamaica is experiencing a similar problem. Recently, Government has inexplicably trespassed on Statutory Authorities’ responsibilities in such a public manner that the only plausible motive is pre-election political panic.

First Government put a political horse before a governance cart by passing a law establishing Portmore as a new Parish without first consulting the Electoral Commission of Jamaica (ECJ) regarding constituency boundaries. It appears Government believed that, by passing the law, it could force ECJ to change constituency boundaries to Government’s advantage. Because, as it turns out, by strange coincidence, the Law’s passing immediately made four St. Catherine constituencies unconstitutional as their boundaries cut across proposed Portmore Parish Boundaries.

As my favourite Chinese food chef might say “Wok the heck?”

Government said it wasn’t altering constituency boundaries only Parish boundaries. But, if by altering parish boundaries, you automatically make constituency boundaries illegal what are you really doing?

Government’s political posturing regarding Portmore missed the point by several parishes. It matters not who wants what. In governance, there’s only ONE legitimate reason for fundamental change: Citizens’ benefit. So the onus is on Government to itemize residents’ REAL rather than fanciful benefits.

All else is irrelevant poppy show including promises of future infrastructure.

PNP sued saying the Law was unconstitutional (it is in my opinion) and Government consented to an interim order that ECJ must first decide whether or not to recommend constituency changes. Then a tornado of political gig spinning began. Both sides claimed “victory” when all that happened was the status quo was restored and ECJ was allowed to do its job without political interference masquerading as lawmaking.

At a follow-up Parliamentary Committee meeting Government MPs tried manfully to speed up the process but ECJ steadfastly asserted protocol and procedure would be preserved. ECJ was insisting its boundaries be respected.

Then there were two atrociously awkward letters of “concern” written to the Integrity Commission Chairman with implied instruction not to employ a particular public servant because of his political friendship. As I wrote on Sunday that was, in my opinion, egregious political interference. Is it coincidence that both apparent abuses of power occurred in an election year?

Government obviously doesn’t understand that governance is all about boundaries. Or maybe it does but believes only constituency boundaries matter. If that’s the case then Government is clearly borderline illiterate.

Peace and Love.

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com