Michael Abrahams | Exposing our children to trauma

It was just supposed to be a morning hanging with the boys. I was asked by a teacher at a Corporate Area preparatory school to speak with boys from grades four to six about health and attitudes. When I arrived, I had a brief conversation with the gentleman who spoke immediately before me, during which I expressed concern about the levels of trauma our children experience in this country and the effects it has on all aspects of their health. Standing beside him was a member of the Jamaica Constabulary Force (JCF). I expressed my gratitude to him for placing his life on the line to protect us and voiced my concerns about the mental health of members of the force because many are survivors of childhood trauma and, as a result of the levels of violence they experience while conducting their duties, a lot of them are left with layers of trauma, and this can negatively affect their well-being.

I was supposed to speak with the boys from 8:45 that morning until 9:15. However, I know kids have short attention spans, so I try not to talk to them for more than 15 minutes. I began by asking them if when grown-ups give these kinds of presentations, they go on too long and are boring. The answer was a resounding “Yes!” I promised not to follow that trend and began my presentation. The plan was to give the talk for the first fifteen minutes and allow the boys to ask questions and share their stories for the next fifteen.

I spoke with them about the importance of physical activity and healthy eating and stressed the value of embracing attributes such as kindness and empathy, understanding the concepts of respect, consent and boundaries and rejecting bullying and judgemental behaviour. I explained how healthy habits will influence the quality of their social interactions and quality of life now and when they attain adulthood. I also spoke about the stigma surrounding mental illness and told them that they should not be afraid to ask for help if they need it.

DID NOT REALISE

During my talk, I did not realise that the concerns expressed during the conversation with the two gentlemen a few minutes earlier would be validated during my subsequent exchanges with the boys. At 9:00 am, when I began the Q & A session, I did not foresee what would follow: a deluge of stories about witnessing traumatic events. Some were about witnessing motor vehicle accidents, including one where a boy saw the body of a man under a vehicle and another where a taxi driver recklessly slammed his vehicle into another.

But most were about violent acts. The first boy who raised his hand to speak shared a story about an incident that took place when he was a passenger in his father’s vehicle. His father was driving and told him not to look through the window, but he did and saw a man beating another man with a machete. I asked the boy if he had ever seen any other violent acts, and he told me he had witnessed a murder when someone was fatally shot. At this point, the boy looked tearful. I called him from his seat to where I was standing and hugged him. I asked him if he still thinks or dreams about these incidents. He nodded in the affirmative. I asked him if he had ever spoken to anyone about the incidents and the effects they had on him, and he said he had spoken to a therapist but had not been back in a while. I encouraged him to return.

STORIES CONTINUED

The stories continued. Another boy witnessed someone get fatally stabbed in the chest and said he had seen other people get killed in his community. Another witnessed a man lose part of his forearm after it was severed during an altercation outside a fast-food establishment in Cross Roads. Another boy witnessed two minibus conductors argue over a potential passenger they were trying to entice to enter their vehicles. The argument escalated into a fight, and one of the men slammed the head of the other into the boy’s mother’s car, denting it. Another spoke of someone trying to break into his home. I was supposed to talk to the boys for half an hour, but I stayed for 45 minutes, 30 of which were spent listening to their stories, all of which involved trauma. The only reason I left when I did was because someone else was waiting to speak.

When we traumatise our children by physically and emotionally abusing and neglecting them, it is understandable that there can be adverse long-term effects. But we do not need to touch or even speak to our children to traumatise them. Simply exposing our children to traumatic scenes can also have deleterious consequences. They are traumatised by our actions and the examples we set, which are sometimes the results of our traumas. Issues that contribute to violent behaviour, such as poor conflict resolution and anger management, must be addressed to break the cycles of trauma that have become established in our society.

Michael Abrahams is an obstetrician and gynaecologist, social commentator, and human-rights advocate. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com and michabe_1999@hotmail.com, or follow him on X , formerly Twitter, @mikeyabrahams