Gordon Robinson | Twenty-seven all out???

Just when we thought it couldn’t get worse, another sickeningly spineless showing by West Indies batsmen taught us never to challenge worse.

The writing has been on the wall for a while but the myopic approach to regional cricket development by those responsible for the game has been short-sighted and inept. There were signs of some hope (not the Shai variety) until Cricket West Indies (CWI) made the egregious error of naming Daren Sammy head coach for all teams.

This was never going to end well. Lest we forget, Sammy became West Indies Test captain in controversial circumstances somewhat akin to how Alvin Kallicharran was made captain in 1978-79 after Clive Lloyd resigned over the Kerry Packer discrimination issue.

At least the great Kalli was a sure pick in any West Indies side. Sammy’s elevation started in what my Eastern Caribbean friends would call a team of “scabs.” After an underwhelming early career during which he mostly played when front line players were injured, Sammy, despite a good Test debut in England with the ball, was sporadically selected. But, in 2009, a contract dispute between then West Indies Cricket Board (WICB) and players was so monumentally mishandled by WICB that essentially a third 11 (nine uncapped players in a squad of 15; Sammy as Vice-Captain; seven of the eleven in the first Test were debutants) lost 2-0 at home against Bangladesh.

In 2010 when Chris Gayle and Dwayne Bravo refused to sign insulting central contracts offered (Sammy signed as a Grade B player) Sammy was named Captain but Test cricket was never his comfort zone. In 38 Tests he averaged 21.7 batting and 35.8 runs per wicket bowling. He was mediocre to poor. However, he did excel in T20 winning 59 per cent of all T20s including two World Cups.

So it was no surprise when he was named white ball coach but then he fired Rovman Powell as T20 captain despite his 61.5 per cent win record (better than Sammy’s) and Powell’s captaincy taking West Indies from ninth to third in T20 rankings.

What the actual framfrig?

Then, shock of shocks, Cricket West Indies (CWI) sacks Andre Coley as Test Coach and appoints Sammy as Coaching Czar. Almost immediately Kraigg Braithwaite resigns as Test Captain. The optics didn’t look good for Sammy. Then Sammy, apparently West Indies Cricket’s new Overlord, appoints Roston Chase, a journeyman cricketer with slightly better than a mediocre record and talent but with lots of commitment, as Test Captain.

Really? Seriously?

Does Chase remind Sammy of himself? When appointed, Chase hadn’t played a Test match for more than two years. His Test batting average was 25.86 and bowling average 46.28 runs per wicket. Then it’s reported Sammy has taken a nerdish data driven approach to his job which, as a West Indian, he should know doesn’t suit our style, temperament or abilities. The team needs mental and physical fitness not stats. Then he drops Braithwaite after no worse performances in the first two Tests than anyone else and promotes Mikyle Louis whose batting average in 10 Tests is 18.45!!! Louis scored 11 runs at Sabina for an average of 5.5.

In that catastrophic second innings the top six West Indies batsmen scored 0; 4; 0; 0; 0; 2. Good Grief Charlie Brown! Now I know why my friendly neighbourhood supermarket is out of eggs. They’re all being used by West Indies batsmen as face cream. Every one of them should be sentenced to long unpaid vacations for the crime of disgracing the region.

Sammy plant piece of corn down a gully

and it bear ‘til it kill poor old Sammy

Sammy dead, Sammy dead, Sammy dead oh….

It’s time we understand that T20, although a globally attractive evolution of the game, is NOT cricket. We will NEVER develop proper cricketers if their skills are honed in T20. Also, as expected, the Daren Sammy experiment is an abject failure. Please save West Indies cricket from Sammy. Send him back to T20.

Eric “Monty” Morris was a Ska superstar recording many hits including Sammy Dead about a hard working farmer the fruits of whose labour generated envy from colleagues and led to his demise.

I doubt this will be Daren Sammy’s fate but the atrocity at Sabina should kill his career as a Test match Coach. However CWI decisions tend towards irrationality so who knows?

I engaged in a post-match exchange on Twitter that summed up the entire episode perfectly. Someone with Twitter handle The Widow’s Son (@kishnicks) posted (apologies for not using the Turkish spelling ‘Türkiye’):

“I wonder if Turkey want to buy any cricketers? I have a team selling, $1 for 11 players.”

Me: “You selling Turkeys to Turkey? Price too high!” to which came the perfect riposte

The Widow’s Son: “More like Ducks to Turkey.”

Peace and Love

Gordon Robinson is an attorney-at-law. Send feedback to columns@gleanerjm.com