Fitting trousers in presidential ballroom

THE EDITOR, Madam:

The founder of CNN died recently and I wondered what Ted Turner thought of the changes made after his creation of the cable giant in 1980. 

It was really wonderful in providing 24-hour coverage of global affairs for many years but has become a forum for round-table discussions between mainly Democrats who echo the same message hour after tedious hour. Sometimes there is a Republican or two to voice an opinion, but CNN has become so predictable and the exact opposite of Ted Turner’s vision.  

Political opinions are repeated ad nauseam as was the recent case about the ballroom that President Trump is building on White House grounds, only one of his ambitious and costly plans to leave permanent markers in Washington, DC, long after he has shuffled off this mortal coil. 

Those at CNN were talking to, as well as talking over, each other with great concern about the cost of the ballroom at a time when Americans struggle with rising gas prices and inflation due to the Persian Gulf war and blockade of the Strait of Hormuz. They discussed how President Trump is different from others who have occupied the White House and how presidential ballrooms were never a topic until now. 

Pompous predictable political pundits take themselves so seriously, but my memory goes back to when another loud and boisterous Oval Office occupant informed the world of his presidential ballroom. It was 1964 when larger-than-life Texan Lyndon B. Johnson (LBJ) was seated behind the Resolute Desk less than a year after taking up the mantle after John F. Kennedy’s assassination.  

LBJ was ordering some new trousers from his favourite tailor in Dallas, and his telephone conversation about a presidential ballroom has been played millions of times. It is available in print and audio at https://americanradioworks.publicradio.org/features/prestapes/lbj_haggar.html

LBJ goes into great detail about how his trousers must fit, saying in part, “The cro**, down where the nu** hang – is always a little too tight, so when you make them up, give me an inch that I can let out there, uh because they cut me. It’s like riding a wire fence”. 

Later, he adds: “See if you can leave me an inch from where the zipper (burp) ends, round, under my, back to my bunghole”. This remains the most amusing and entertaining conversations ever recorded about presidential ballrooms.

BERNIE SMITH

Parksville, BC

Canada