Thu | Nov 30, 2023

Are all guys alike?

Published:Friday | April 22, 2016 | 12:00 AM

Q Doc, I am a teenage girl who would like your advice about the male sex. My impression is that guys are all the same. Is that correct?

So far, I have only had three dates - each with a different boy, but they have behaved in an identical fashion. At the end of the evening, they kissed me, then immediately reached for my breasts, which I allowed.

But after a few seconds of stroking the mammaries, each of them made a kind of clumsy lunge for my private part. This, I did not allow. I did not like that.

So, Doc, why have these three guys all behaved the same? In the future, can I expect every other male whom I date to do the identical stuff?

A: Well, I am sorry that your first three dates have not been a roaring success from your point of view. May I say that I think you were quite right in fending off these lunges for your groin.

All guys are not the same, however. There are shy ones, reserved ones, and guys who prefer to take their time. There are also a few who are not very highly sexed at all.

But, you have to realise that the majority of males are pre-programmed to want sexual intercourse. That is how the human race has survived. Therefore, most of the men you date will secretly hope that maybe - just maybe - you might decide to 'give your all'. Please bear that in mind when you go out with a guy.

The three boys you have dated have all used a sort of formula technique - by which I mean - lips first, then breasts, and then try for the girl's most intimate part.

Alas! This is a pattern which is found among young males throughout the world. In America, the land of baseball, boys often call the process 'getting to first base', then 'getting to second base', and so on. Actual intercourse is sometimes termed 'hitting a home run'.

All I can say is that young women should take note of the fact that this is how many of men think. When going out on a date, it is wise to be prepared to say no.

Q Hi, Doc. Last night I accidentally left just one single drop of my sex fluid on my fiancÈe's vaginal lips. She said she thought it would probably be OK, but we are fretting.

Is there any chance that this one drop could make her pregnant?

A: Young couples often think that just a drop won't do any harm. But in actual fact, one single drop of seminal fluid may well contain six million spermatozoa! That is an awful lot - and could easily get a girl pregnant.

The one thing in your favour is this. You say that the solitary drop landed on your fiancÈe's labia. That is quite some distance from the womb, so it would be a pretty long swim for the sperm should they try to find their way upwards in search of an egg to fertilise.

The odds, therefore, are that you two young people will be OK, and that the lady's menses will arrive. If you are going to continue to 'fool around' with each other, however, you really should use a good method of contraception.

Q I am alarmed by the fact that when my new girlfriend (age 21) orgasms, she screams loudly.

Is this OK, Doc? Or is there something wrong with her? Sometimes I am frightened.

A: There is no need to fret. Most women give a bit of a shriek whenever they climax.

If there is anyone within earshot, they tend to stifle it somewhat, but if there is no one around, they may let rip.

Really, this noise is quite a good idea, because it can let the partner know that the lady is reaching her orgasm.

Q Could you give me your medical advice about the Shot or jab?

I have been using this for around six months, Doc, but now a friend has told me that it can make a girl's bones thin! Is this true?

A: A lot of younger women use the jab, and your friend is quite right to raise this matter.

There have, indeed, been concerns about the possible long-term effects of this injection on women's bones. The most common type of jab worldwide is called Depo-Provera. It lowers the level of oestrogen hormone in the woman's body.

There is now no doubt that as a result of the lowered oestrogen, young women do often develop slightly thinner bones. If that continued, they would become abnormally liable to broken bones in middle age and later. That condition is termed osteoporosis.

Fortunately, after they stop using the Shot, most girls' bones return to normal density. So the probability is that they won't get fragile bones when they are older.

There is still, however, a lot that we don't know about the long-term effects of Depo-Provera. Doctors can't yet assess the risk with any certainty.

I must say that if I were a young woman, I would not use Shot for more than about two years, and I would keep checking with my doctor every now and then to see what the latest research is.

Having said all that, the jab is a very good and effective short-term contraceptive for younger females.

Q Doctor, I must confess that I am a young guy who watches a lot of porn, usually with my girlfriend.

What we are puzzled about is this. In many of these blues videos, the actress is having sex with her man, but, at the same time, she herself is rubbing furiously on the area of the vagina. Why?

A: As I have said before in this column, these 'rude movies' are often real misleading, but the fact must be faced that huge numbers of young people (especially guys) watch them.

What you have observed is that quite frequently, the actress is having intercourse with a man, and at the same time she uses her fingertips to rub the area of her clitoris. The clitoris is the most sensitive part of the female body, so the main reason she is rubbing is to help herself reach orgasm.

I must tell you frankly that this happens quite a lot in real life. Many females have difficulty in reaching a climax, and they have found that rubbing their own clitorises during sexual intercourse is useful to them.

Q I left my girlfriend recently. She says that in order to get revenge on me, she put two of her contraceptive pills in my glass of rum and coke.

I am most alarmed about this, Doc! Will it do me great harm?

A: Bear in mind that she may not be telling the truth. Also, please note that spiking a person's drink with drugs (even contraceptives) is a criminal offence. Technically, this is something that could be reported to the police.

If it is true that she only gave you two contraceptive pills, then you should come to no harm. I would not expect any side effects from this small dose. In future, be careful of what you drink.

- Email questions to Doc at, and read more in the 'Outlook Magazine' tomorrow.