A love like this – Part I

“Proverbs 24:3-5 says through skilful and godly wisdom is a house (a life, a home, a family) built and by understanding, it is established (on a sound) and good foundation. A healthy marriage calls for knowledge, which equals information; understanding, which equals comprehension; and wisdom, which equals application,” said veteran producer Tommy Cowan as he aimed to describe the making of a healthy marriage.

Cowan and his gospel songbird wife, Carlene Davis, share a 30-odd-year-old marriage, which has parented seven children, two of whom were produced by the union.

The highly regarded couple shares a relationship that has inspired many as close as their children and as far-reaching as proud onlookers.

Pointing out that no marriage is perfect, Cowan said that though love and being in love are important, the feeling has to be in combination with a vision for the life of two persons together.

He shared: “That’s why knowledge, understanding, and wisdom is so important, as too many times you find people getting a divorce yet saying they love each other. We, my wife and I, were born in the country sides of Jamaica, and a healthy marriage is like a garden … you can’t have a crop without good, rich soil. Then the ‘right seeds’ as what grows in your garden depends on the seeds you plant. Then you have to water the seeds, pull out the weeds, tend to it with prayer. (Prayer enriches the seeds of love), fidelity, respect, time, and communication. Pray that God will keep you both from planting anything you will live to regret. We must spend time together. Words are like seeds. They start out small and grow into something big. Avoid words of anger, indifference, criticism, impatience, and find words of intimacy, harmony, laughter, and joy. Whatever a man sows, that he will reap. Pray that God will dig up unforgiveness and bitterness, and your marriage can be healthy and bring about the fulfilling of each other’s purpose.”

Complementing her husband’s response to the requirements of a healthy marriage, Davis added that with mutual respect, working together as a team, being friends as well as lovers, and, according to her, there will be no divorce in the future.

Davis shared that these characteristics were learnt through the power of her praying husband and also through practice in their daily lives.