Life is for living

MANDEVILLE, Manchester:

HE DIDN’T have the greatest reference when it came on to a solid, consistent father figure in his life, but when Barrington Davis Jr first learnt that he was going to become a father, he knew his life was going to change forever.

He described the moment of learning of his impending role as first being lined with “Anxiety, then nervousness, then pure joy. The corners of my lips made it all the way up the corners of my eyes and bare teeth just a skin.”

With a sparkle in his eyes and a smile on his face at the mention of his young king, whose name, Cairo, which means victorious, Davis Jr believes his role as a father is one of, if not the most important.

“Fathers, it is important to be a father. I know it’s hard and intimidating sometimes, but this is more than just your responsibility. It’s your legacy. Just being a ‘babyfather’ nah wear again. Whether you and the child’s mother are together or not, being present and active in your kid’s life is what matters most.”

Though he currently lives a few miles away from his son because of work, Davis Jr said he wants his son to have a strong support system around him.

“I’m cool with my biological father, we’re a lot closer now than when I was growing up, but I didn’t grow up with him or see him often so that opportunity I didn’t have. I grew up around my stepfather; however, it was my mother who taught me determination, confidence in self, and independence, and my brother who taught me how to fight, dress, ride a bicycle, and look a girl. I never really felt like I missed out, or noticed I didn’t have a father figure till I was an adult,” he said.

“Now, as a father, I want my son to be able to have all that he needs from his father – to learn solid life lessons, taught or exemplified, to have the experience of his friends at primary school running to him saying, ‘Cairo, yuh daddy come for yuh’, to show him to choose socks and defend himself, you know? Yea, right desso it deh,” added a jocund Davis Jr.

From making sure he is financially ready for his son’s developmental stages to ensuring that a balance is created in his upbringing, the young father said he is learning daily in his new-found role.

“I always heard people say that kids cost money, but it’s not until you go buy a pack of pampers and add the GCT to it that you understand what they really mean. Worse when you buying twice a month!” he said laughingly.

“From early I began watching kids’ programmes and reading up on developmental stages – signs and what to look out for; also on different philosophies on education and combining the principles of Montessori and Waldorf in his education, expression, and upbringing.”

On his days off, Davis Jr can be found with his son living a life of adventure and learning new things together.

“I see him twice each week because he lives in Kingston with his mom. I like the outdoors and discovering new places. So we’ve been doing that together, going to rivers, beaches, parks. I also introduce him to his paternal family and read with him, every time that I see him.”

Learning even more the value of family and quality time, Davis Jr is making sure no time is wasted.

“Time spent with the ones you love really trumps everything else. To see Cairo twice a week requires time off work. But where I can double efforts one day to make up for the time missing from work, I do that because the time I miss spending with him, I can never get that one back.”

Above all else, he said he wants his son to know: “That life is for living. There is only one of it so spend it for the purpose it exists for. You can only truly live if you’re being true to yourself. And if you’re going to be one of the best at something, might as well you be the best.”