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Doc's advice: Why is she so moody?

Published:Saturday | January 16, 2010 | 12:00 AM

Q Good day. I have been with my girlfriend for the past two years. We have a great relationship, but she keeps getting in a state of moodiness, and it's driving me crazy.

I am getting really frustrated with her condition, and it's just turning me away from her.

Honestly Doc, I love her but if she continues with this moodiness my 'hour sand clock' will run out of patience.

Doctor, is this a disorder common in young ladies of 21?

A In a word, yes. But to begin with, I urge you to look at your own behaviour, and to see if there is something in your behaviour which is causing her moods. For instance:

Do you go drinking with friends?

Do you play around or flirt with other girls?

Do you refuse to 'commit' to a long-term relationship?

Do you avoid telling her 'I love you'?

Do you forget to kiss her?

Do you omit to tell her how great she looks - particularly when you arrive home?

If the answer to any of these questions is 'Yes', then you must do something to put things right.

The next thing to do is to find out whether the young woman's moodiness is premenstrual, as is so often the case.

So try and work out if bad moods are particularly likely to occur just before a period. Talk this over with her. Ideally, the two of you should keep a calendar or chart on which the days of her menses are marked. If really bad moods tend to happen in the week before menstruation, or during the first couple of days of the period, then that is a very strong indication that she is suffering from premenstrual tension (PMT).

She could then go to a doc, and get some treatment for that condition. It would probably mean taking some hormones.

If it does NOT seem that she has PMT, then my best suggestion is that the two of you should go to a good counsellor or therapist and have a few sessions. With luck, this will help establish the reasons why these problems are occurring between you. The counsellor/therapist will then point out ways in which future difficulties could be avoided. Good luck!

Q I am female, aged 19, and I would like to use the 'safe period' method to have sex. Have I got this right, Doc? Is it for one week after the menses that a girl is safe?

A No! that is not right. I must say that this 'rhythm method' is pretty risky, unless you are guided regularly by a doctor. Women's 'cycles' are so variable that it is real easy to get things wrong, and to become pregnant.

As a very rough guide, let me tell you that if a woman has regular menses, which are 28 days from start to start, then her BIG 'danger time' is from the eighth to the 18th day after the start of the menses.

Do NOT make the common mistake of trying to count from the end of the menses, instead of from the beginning. This will just lead to mix-ups and accidents.

So making love outside the time between the eighth and 18th days gives you a certain degree of safety. But unfortunately, it is possible to get pregnant outside of those time limits.

You can improve things by keeping a real good daily temperature chart, and by plotting the nature of your vaginal secretions on a chart. But you really need an experienced doc or nurse to help you with these refinements.

Buying an ovulation kit from a pharmacy will also help, though these work out quite expensive.

Q I am male, aged 20. I would like to know this. When a guy's penis cannot 'overturn', Can he get a girl pregnant?

Also, can he catch viruses?

A I think that you are talking about the situation when a guy's prepuce (foreskin) will not roll back. That is quite common.

But such men most certainly can get girls pregnant, because there is always a little 'gap' at the end through which seminal fluid can travel.

Such guys can also catch viruses and other sex infections.

If you are concerned about your organ, please have it checked out by a doc. You might possibly need to take a little operation on the foreskin.

Q On the morning after intensive sex, my clitoris is usually rather sore. Is this OK, doc?

A Yes, this is pretty normal. But I suggest you use more lubrication.

Q I am a 48-year-old man with three children. I noticed, in the last year or so, that I am not producing any seminal fluid.

So whenever I have sex and reach a climax, no fluid appears at that time.

What is happening, Doc? Am I getting impotent?

A No, you are NOT developing erectile dysfunction (impotence). But what you are experiencing are 'dry orgasms'. These do have a tendency to become more common as a guy gets older, especially as it is normal for the volume of fluid to diminish with age.

Please note that there are factors, which can cause dry orgasms. First, certain drugs can do this, especially some blood pressure medications. But you do not say that you are taking any such medications.

Also, prostate surgery can induce dry orgasm. However, I am sure that if you had had any such surgery, you would have told me.

There are several helpful articles about dry orgasms, which are available on the Internet. For instance, the world-famous Mayo Clinic in the United States has produced one which you can find by going to their website, and then typing in the words 'dry orgasm'.

But do not pay too much attention to the stuff about cancer, which is MOST unlikely in your case. After looking at the Mayo Clinic site, if possible go and see a urologist, who is a surgeon specialising in genito-urinary conditions. I wish you well.

Q Doc, is the Pill safer for younger women, or for older ones?

A It is much safer for youngish women, provided that they do not smoke or have other 'risk factors'.

Q Doctor, I'm male, 19 and very sexually active. My girlfriend and I are very happy together in the sack, but she wishes for me to have a larger organ.

Is there any hope that it will ever grow any larger?

A Well, at 19 you may not have completed your full growth yet.

But are you sure that your girl friend really wants you to have a larger organ? Only a minority of women express such opinion. Indeed, many females are quite grateful that their partners are no bigger.

Anyway, if you are convinced that it is small, go and consult a doc and see what his view is. As you cannot expect him to examine it while it is erect, please use your mobile phone to photograph it during an erection, preferably with a tape measure or ruler alongside it. Then take that photo along to show him.