Serial adulterer

I am a 29-year-old happily married woman. In the firm where I work,
there is a very handsome and charismatic co-worker who has a reputation
as a ladies' man. It is rumoured that, some years ago, he caught a
sexually transmitted infection from one of his affairs. Well, Doctor,
now he has asked me to 'go for a drink' with him after work. I am very
tempted. But what concerns me is that, when he gave me that invitation,
he winked at me and said, 'Don't tell your husband'. What should I do?
Do you think there would be any harm to just have drinks with him one
evening? It may have been gonorrhoea.

This man sounds like
he is a 'serial adulterer'. I think it would be absolutely crazy for you
to go and have a 'secret' drink with him.

Do you believe that he just wants the pleasure of your company on a bar stool? No. He wants to get you into his bed.

I
have no idea whether he really did have gonorrhoea (the clap). But if
by chance there are still any of the germs left in his body, he could
give them to you.

You say you are happily married, so don't risk your good marriage by having an after-hours drink with this Lothario.

Doctor, I have never been very successful in bed with women. Would a circumcision help me?

I have seen a number of male patients who have the mistaken notion that a circumcision would improve their sex life.

The only circumstance in which a circumcision would help a man's love life is if his foreskin is so tight that it will not roll back when he is erect. Unless that applies to you, please forget the idea of taking that operation.

I am a 32 -year-old female. Should I expect an orgasm every time I have sex with my partner?

Surveys have repeatedly shown that a lot of women do not have an orgasm every time they have intercourse.

Sexologists now say that most women find it very difficult to climax during intercourse. Generally, some stimulation of the clitoris is required if the woman is to 'discharge'.

My advice is that you talk this over with your partner. If you need more clitoral stimulation, tell him so.

I am a man, and need your advice on a very strange and personal matter. About two years ago, I developed a white spot under my foreskin. Now the white area has spread to the entire end of my penis, so that it is about three quarters of an inch across. I have no pain, itching, burning or discomfort. But I feel concerned and embarrassed over this situation.

I am sure you do. I have not examined you, but I suspect that you may have quite a common male condition called balanitis xerotica obliterans, or 'BXO' for short.

This is a disorder of unknown origin in which a hard, white area of inflammation spreads across the head of the penis. It is not a sexually transmitted infection.

Often, it can be treated with steroid creams. But sometimes it threatens to block off the hole at the end of the male organ, and then it may be necessary for a surgeon-specialist to widen that aperture with a special instrument. (Don't worry; this is not too painful!)

Various other possible treatments are listed on Wikipedia, if you have access to that.

As it relates to your present situation, you really need urgent expert advice from a doctor, who can examine your organ and see if you do have BXO. I think you should see a surgeon called a urologist. I note that you live in St Catherine, so you would be able to consult such a doctor at the Spanish Town Hospital. Good luck to you.

I am 24 years old and, when I have my period, I experience some severe pain even a week before my menses begin. For over five months now, when I am having my cycle I experience excruciating pain in my right lower abdomen. I also have difficulties passing my stool. Could you tell me what could be causing all this?

There are a number of possibilities. But there is the possibility that you may have endometriosis. That is a very common condition in women, where pieces of womb lining develop in other areas like the ovary.

Every month during your cycle, they 'bleed'. But there is nowhere for the blood to go, so the result is intense agony. Fortunately, endometriosis can be treated.

I would strongly recommend that you try and see a gynaecologist right away. After an internal examination, you may need to have a scan, and then possibly an exploratory operation. It is clear that this problem must be sorted out as soon as possible. I wish you well.

Doc, I'm very worried. I'm 26 years old, and I know that I have polycystic ovary syndrome. I have not seen my period for over a month, and now I'm experiencing excruciating pain in my stomach and back. It hurts so much, I feel like I'm dying. Please tell me what to do.

I have mentioned polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) in this column several times before, because it is so very common. It is a complicated disorder, and needs expert treatment, preferably by a gynaecologist.

So please try and see one as soon as possible. In the meantime, ask any doctor for medication powerful enough to relieve that pain. This is clearly a case for something stronger than aspirin or acetaminophen.

Good morning, Doc. Last week, while I was visiting Port Antonio on business, I regret to say that I cheated on my wife with one of her distant female relatives. Now the woman in question has texted me to say that she has developed an embarrassing discharge. Does this mean I have a venereal disease? What should I do? I haven't had sex with my wife since and I am very scared.

This is a very unfortunate situation. Sounds like you have no symptoms. Nevertheless, you could well have picked up a germ like chlamydia.

So please go to a doctor now for an examination and have some tests done. Under no circumstance should you have sex with your wife until the doctor has said that you are ok.

Finally, please bear in mind that while adultery regularly leads to trouble, adultery with someone who is related to your wife usually means very big trouble!

So please do not be tempted to renew the liaison with your wife's cousin.