Would you date a man with kids?
Published:Monday | September 16, 2013 | 12:00 AM
Latoya Grindley, Staff Reporter
Waiting on that seemingly perfect guy, while trying to achieve financial and emotional stability, and at the same time earnestly climbing the educational and professional ladder, have a lot of women delaying having children.
With this delay comes some drawbacks. When these women get to that period in their lives when they start to contemplate a serious relationship with the possibility of children, the men are far ahead of them in the parental department.
Having a child is one of the ways some men in Jamaica think they prove their manhood. So, it isn't necessarily a surprise that the thought of having a child is something they are quicker to embrace than shy away from. But what this means for women is that the older the men, the greater the possibility that they already have children from previous relationships.
Apparently, the thought of the babymother drama and the questioning of a man's character based on the number of children he has are serious contentions many women have with establishing relationships with these men.
Flair posed the question, 'Would you date a man with children? If yes, how many is too many?', to women in the age range of 25-35. The sample consisted of employed women, with and without children.
I wouldn't date a man who has more than two children, and those children would have to be with the same woman because I can't handle the bag of women and splitting up of money. While I say I would consider dating a man who already has children, I don't think it is ideal, because first of all, his money will finish faster and he perhaps would not want to have any more children when I am ready to.
- M.L.
No more than one - and that is a stretch. I really can't deal with the babymother drama and I would prefer if we had our first child together. What if I don't even like his child? Too many things to consider when you date someone with a child.
- L.B.
I have done it before. The number of children really doesn't matter, but the number of mothers. I can't deal with the different babymothers and their drama. And when a man has children with different women and is still not settled, it shows you that he doesn't know what he wants and something is definitely wrong when it comes on to him and relationships.
- K.A.
I think it really boils down to the babymother as they can come with real drama. Some can be very spiteful, and that can even affect the relationship with me and the child's father. If I am to consider dating a man with children, he has to have no more than two children. And if he has children with two, three and more different women, then that means he is wild and I may fall in the trap of being babymother number four.
- S.H.
No! I can't bother with the baggage and babymother drama. If the mother is alive, she is definitely going to be involved and I don't want that.
- M.G.
I don't even want children myself, so why would I take on someone else's? To me, it is a risk. I may not get along with the child, or even the mother. To reduce those risks, I won't get into a relationship with a man with children.
- D.W.
I once dated a man who had two children with his wife. He said they were separated but were still sharing the house because of the children. Of course, I had to walk away from that. So, based on that experience, I would date a man with children, but only if he is definitely not with, or living with, the mother. Two children are fine, but no more, especially if they are with different women, because I could probably be the next victim.
- H.K.
No, I don't want any drama in my life. The mothers tend to think that their child is getting too close to you and will try to spite the father, or even you.
- T.L.